..."Serious Consideration!"

We Need To Talk About Kevin By Gerlyne

2012-01-22T22:44:00.000-05:00

'We Need To Talk About Kevin' is a beautiful film that explores Freud's mother and son theory. In the movie, a mother gives birth to a demonic child, (Kevin), who cannot decide whether he loves his mother or wants her to die. He dislikes her. She senses that something is wrong with him even though she tries to love him because she is his mother. The father however remains clueless that the boy is ‘evil’ and is insensitive to her complaints.

Kevin has a rather strong relationship with his father whom he adores, which is odd since his mother is rather stunning. One wonders while watching the film if Freud had it wrong. Could it be that a son can be more drawn to his father than his mother although he is not a homosexual male? What modern day boy hates his mother? Why does he love his father so much?

Nevertheless, I think that Freud is right in claiming that the Oedipal complex exists. The mom is in essence the first woman and love for her son. The mom cooks, cleans, and loves her son. In fact, the love that the son receives from his mother is so strong that no woman ever dares to compare to his first love, the MOTHER. However, sometimes there is a struggle within the son about such unnatural thoughts about his mother and he begins to hate her instead and grows a bond with his father as a means to compensate for the love he lacks from his mother. He wonders, is it weird for me to think of my mother as my girlfriend? Is it okay to wish I were an infant to go back to her safe womb? Such unnatural t thoughts can make a son fantasize about killing mommy and fucking her. So instead of loving his mom, he hates her for creating him because if he were never born, then he would not be able to fantasize about her.

The movie is great in that it leaves Kevin a mystery and you take from the movie your own conclusion. In a year so full of Oscar worthy films, 'We Need To Talk About Kevin' deserves an Oscar for editing. The movie was well edited. My friend watched it with me and he was confused, because he was lost as to what the movie is about. Given time though, it all came together. I think the editing was done that way so that the audience could understand the characters’ turmoil. If the movie had been told in a straightforward way, it would have been just a story and not special. The editing made it different, and though there are plenty of stories about ‘evil’ boys, this was just different. Why? The editing made it artistic and created the uniqueness that Oscar films have. The editing gave you the feeling that you were in the main character’s head, meaning confused. It also confused you just enough to hypnotize you and make you curious as to how this movie would end.

Say Hello To My Little Friend!

2011-12-26T11:03:00.002-05:00

D'Artagnan (Christmas Eve, 2011)

On Christmas Eve of 2011, I brought this little fellow to his new home. Born in the Bronx sixth or more months ago, D'Artagnon has been a welcome addition to the family (except maybe from the guinea pigs' perspectives) and has adjusted very nicely to his surroundings. He's a handsome armful of sleek fur and personality; his default energy position seems to be warp speed, especially when he finds something particularly interesting. But when he's offline... I've never seen a cat that could out-flat a pancake without even trying until now. On top of that, his lineage seems to include rubber bands; when he stretches, he takes up half the couch. It will be interesting when he becomes a full-grown adult; all the civil rights and political discussions (I would think that he is a Maoist, but then he has empirical tendencies when it comes to territory and certain places he's not allowed to encroach upon).

D'Artagnan (named after Gene Kelly's dashing upstart of Three Musketeers fame for what will be obvious reasons when you click on the link) is an American Bombay; a breed that was introduced in 1958 as a way to recreate a "miniature panther". He's somewhat needy and loves attention, but he gets along well with everyone. He's got to be the sweetest kitty I've met in a while; engaging and friendly, quick reflexes and intelligent. I grew up with dogs and cats, so I know certain things to expect, but I'm looking forward to discovering what kind of tricks he has in his bag (maybe we can trade a secret or two). Feel free to post any expert kitty advice, and I'll be sure to pass on any questions you might have for him (he's rather articulate for a year-old). Miao... er, I mean Ciao!

When 2 Wrongs make A Right: Another Fascinatingly Stupid Story From the Net

2011-09-13T13:54:00.001-04:00

Ripped from the Reuters wire:

(Pueblo Deputy Police Chief Andrew) McLachlan said a patrol officer was tipped off by an off-duty detective to a car making an illegal lane change on Interstate 25, about 115 miles south of Denver.

The north-south highway has long been a drug-smuggling corridor, he said. When the officer pulled over the rented Chevrolet Malibu, he discovered that (Mark) Bailey's California driver's license had been revoked.

Bailey, 37, told the officer he owned an auto body shop in California, and was en route to Iowa to look at a 1955 Chevy, police said.

The officer became suspicious because when (Lisa) Calderon, 35, was questioned she appeared nervous. She said the pair were going to visit her brother in Iowa but couldn't say where, police said.

When the officer noticed that the back of the car appeared to be weighed down, he summoned a drug-sniffing dog and its handler to the scene. The dog, name Raleigh, "alerted on the rear of the Chevy," McLachlan said.

A search of the trunk uncovered four black duffel bags stuffed with bricks of cocaine, and the pair was arrested, he said.

Bailey was also cited for driving with a suspended license, and no proof of insurance.

Now I have to be honest, my first thought after reading this was, "Couldn't the cops have come up with a better story as to why they pulled the car over?" Here in the Northeast, I've been pulled over many times for what is known as "profiling", though the cops don't necessarily call it that. They use excuses like "tail light wasn't working" or "one headlight was off" or "what are you doing around here?" but never in my life had I been pulled over or issued a ticket for "illegal lane change"... on an interstate highway, no less. What is that? Cops in New York hardly bother with speeders anymore, so I can't imagine. But during the course of a "routine traffic stop," the stupidometer rotates in another direction and starts calculating quickly as the driver and passenger tell their stories, leading to a reasonable suspicion to search the car, thus turning up 220 pounds of cocaine, with an estimated street value of $10 million.

That's $10 million dollars... cool.

What tipped them off? Old boy from California, dude, says he's going to Iowa to look at a 1955 Chevy because he owns an auto shop, and naturally that's the kind of thing an auto shop owner would do; drive halfway across the country to look at an old car that you could otherwise find ALL OVER CALIFORNIA or even Arizona if you're retired or in witness protection. So they ask the lady, and she's saying that she's visiting a brother in Iowa. Oh, where does he live? "Uh, I dunno..." Oh, Des Moines you say? They have nice corn silk from what I hear. Would you mind stepping out of the car, please? I'm certain she had to have been nervous at this point if she already wasn't before.

Because that's when they bring in Raleigh the Dyno-mutt (he's from Pueblo) who sniffs around and says, "DY-NO-MIIITE!" because he's found over 200 lbs of pure snow in four duffel bags in the back of the car... enough, apparently, to weigh down the rear of the car which eagle-eyed traffic officers also noticed when Dude made an illegal lane change and tipped off their brethren down the line about. So they arrest the two of them and charge Dude with driving with a revoked license and lack of proof of insurance. Oh, they also charge them both with suspicion of trafficking (across state lines, no doubt). Why suspicion, you ask? Because Dude was driving a rental car.

Now lets think about this a little more objectively. A rental car? Holy Nineafreakinleven, Batman, how did this guy rent a car with a revoked license? Could it have anything to do with, hmm, lets see... CALIFORNIA? And what rental company does not provide registration and insurance material inside the glove compartment of a rental vehicle... actually, a lot of them don't. I know a few that don't and it almost bit me once at the airport, but I talked my way out of that pretty well. But that still doesn't excuse the fact that they rented the car to a guy with a revoked license, which is suspicious when you think about it. What's their involvement in the trafficking of $10 million (I repeat, not chump change!) in uncut cocaine? "We didn't know" does not apply here, and neither does "the system was down." Someone did someone else a favor and was expecting a cut, but if they had vested the merchants they were dealing with, they would have realized the P/E ratio, not to mention the I/Q ratio, was kinda iffy. I'm not buying it.

So the auto shop owner doesn't make sure his license is legal and up-to-date for a cross-country trek to the cornfield to look at an old car. Then his friend, who is obviously from another planet, doesn't think to come up with an address in said cornfield so that their story can seem the least bit plausible. Being that there's not much to choose from to begin with, you would think that would have been an easy enough task. But no, she either forgot, or she was lazy or maybe she didn't think any of this would happen. Not doing your homework on time has far reaching consequences, children. So next time, parents and teachers, when a child questions the necessity and importance of homework, or forgets to do it or Raleigh comes to your town and eats it, you have a ready teachable moment right here. Prepare for the future, yungins, or you might end up like Mark Baily and Lisa Calderon, who are Not Smarter Than A Fifth Grader. And if your child or student has already developed these tendencies, make sure you tip off highway patrol when they get on the bus. Preparation and teaching doesn't end when the bell rings.

But enough about them. How about those police officers? Dedication to your craft and Communication are key; when an off-duty officer saw Dude on an interstate highway making an illegal lane change (hop the divider? what?), he got on the radio and called his work buddy and told him, "Hey! I know this is a major drug corridor and all, so I thought I should tell you I saw someone changing lanes illegally!" and the on-duty officer, who might have thought he was talking about something lewd people do in public (because that's how police officers think, don't deny it!) thanked him and proceeded to look for him, because he obviously had nothing better to do and that's the kind of thing a suspected drug smuggler would do. So they pull him over because a few miles back, someone (not saying who) saw him do something stupid and he has to explain why. "It was the biggest bust this department ever made," the deputy sheriff later told the news wire. I'll bet. Nah, it wasn't a tip-off by a narc or a snitch, it was dedication and communication. The bottom line is they caught some major breeze.

Ten million dollars is nothing to scoff at, ladies and gentlemen, even if it is a multi-billion dollar industry. Just look at pro-sports; when an athlete gets ten million dollars a year to play better than you would, a lot of people get uptight about it. $10 million in raw sugar? Now that's a blow to anyone's steelo, never mind their pride. Someone is going to receive a Colombian Necktie for a Christmas present; that is if they still have a head and neck to handle it. To an overlord, that might be the cost of doing business. But let's face facts: do you know any overlords? Is he coming to your neighborhood to ask you what you think? Not exactly. He's gonna do what most business folks do and examine the process down the line with his underlings and functionaries carrying out the orders. You might know Tyrone , who answers to Money Grip who in turn answers to Nino. But Nino doesn't talk to you, either, and Money Grip might say only a few menacing words to you at best. And either way, that's none of their problem, because it was a royal screw up in the Operations department. Oh, maybe Nino coordinated to transport with a supplier, but then the transporters didn't do their homework in school and it finally caught up to them. Maybe Dude actually is Nino, who couldn't trust his minions with such a major shipment. But then, you don't get to be Nino by not doing your homework...

I could go on and on, but the bottom line is that even the blind squirrel occasionally finds the nut. And for whatever reason, be it by pure accident, pure generosity by the overlords to make the police department and the feds look good so Congress can keep supporting them with tax dollars to fight the War Against Drugs (while the real shipments pass by unnoticed) or whether it was by sheer and utter stupidity, a few months' worth of cocaine was taken out of the system between Park County and Dubuque. That's more cocaine that ends up as Exhibit A for the time being (before possibly being eased back in). Let's look at it from a positive light. Less crack, less snowballs, less China White, blow, sniff, coke, freebase, whatever that ends up in a person, particularly a child's body and causes them to do irreparable harm to themselves or others. I honestly don't care how it happened, as long as it's gone. To me, it's just funny how two wrongs can sometimes make a right.

And remember the old saying: "Don't be gentle, it's a rental!" >;)

"That's Hooper, Big Bird... Hooper"

2011-07-23T23:11:00.000-04:00

At some point we all let go of things that bind us to childhood, so maybe it was a year or two after I drifted away from Sesame Street that this was broadcast. I dunno, I still watched it off and on due to my burgeoning interest in cartooning, but this somehow escaped me. I had always wondered what had happened to Mr. Hooper... did he retire and move to Florida as most people his age would do? Was he in an old folks home? Or did he just leave and was talked about, but not in a way that would disturb the show's target audience?

Mr. Hooper died. He was never coming back. We know this because... well, just because.

The tender, yet frank nature of this revelation was brought to us by grown ups who wanted to teach children something meaningful. It was not overwrought, nor was it sugarcoated with children happy code. Big Bird, the anchor of the show, it's ultimate symbol of childhood and our stand-in as kids who wish they knew how to get to Sesame Street, learned one of the truest life lessons of all, and so did we. Each adult had a moment to say something that imparted the nature and wisdom of the lesson, and in doing so they all had a moment to address something which adults are otherwise tasked to hide or put aside for a greater good: their grief. And in doing so, they not only taught us one of the greatest lessons in life, but also created one of the most indellible moments in TV history.

Watching this brought me to a part in my mind and my spirit I often try to avoid because it is so painful. Yet when you watch people react in a way you either have or wish you had, you can't turn away from it. It reminds you of the moment you felt the same way for someone else. In this case, Mr. Hooper was a character I grew up with, yet his departure from the story was not so devastating to me as a child as seeing the reaction to it as an adult. Why? Because I lived it, and I can understand from both sides of the coin. The loss of a loved one to a child is grievous and harrowing, but a child grows in body and intellect and will assimilate this loss in a much different way than an adult. As an adult, we are mindful of such loss, yet we understand and address the nature of life and death, especially as we grow closer to the latter. The nature of a "rational" adult is to protect and survive, and thus our instincts drive us to act, as opposed to think; as though there is "not enough time" to dwell on the meaning of the loss, or we might also die. Action is symbolic of life, and our aversion to death and the need to reaffirm our sense of life drives us to act out of a sense of duty to ourselves and those around us.

It is not wrong, it is instinct. But one thing that separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom, even if it's ultimately just a little, is our ability to rationalize. It is the foundation of all philosophy; the answer to life's questions. The answers are predicated by circumstances and how we adapt to them mentally, spiritually and emotionally. The one thing that drives us closer to our primal state is not having an answer. My best guess is that sadness is closer to primal emotions and especially death than any other emotion, anger included. And what is sadder than what is lost that was loved and made us happy?

With so much making us unhappy these days, it has to be daunting to get up every morning and have to be confronted with it every day. We read about it, hear about it, see it and by consequence insulate ourselves from it before we are overwhelmed. If it isn't someone old, it's someone young. If it wasn't natural, it's news. But what does all of this information overload do to us? Are we truly desensitized to death, or distracted from it enough to avoid facing our primal instincts?

Yes, it is that deep. It was brave of the cast and crew to address death this way and teach children about it in this manner not so long ago. It was a brilliant and ultimately timeless way to address an important issue and provide a means of healing for those who experienced it then as well as now. It choked me up and brought me to tears all these years later. And here I am, rationalizing it all to you.

How do you feel? Because I feel alive.

20 Reasons why women should stop having children and if she has some already, it’s not too late to stop. The childfree promise…

2011-07-05T17:33:00.006-04:00

I am a woman who is childfree, call the police; I also spent 13 years in Haiti, now call the police...I do believe culture has a lot to do with our views on childbirth.

It has been tough for me growing up as a proud woman and expected to breed so much. Family members and people in general would push by saying things like ‘What is the point of getting married if you don’t plan to have children?’ I had to hear that he will leave and have children with another woman and I thought, so what? Me not wanting to have children means that I'm prepared to stay alone and not having a man actually is a sacrifice that I'm willing to make.

I started telling people that me not having children is economic rather than me not wanting them simply because I am tired of hearing that I will regret my decision or that kids bring so much joy into adult life. Sure I could tell them that I don't want to be like them, but sometimes I'm just not up for a debate. Today is the day to stand up for all childfree people. Today is Independence Day because it is time to break away from the chains of tradition and backward bull!

I respect people who have children and now it is time for them to respect me or I can be very disrespectful. If you choose to have children that should be a personal choice, not one that you want to force on others, because if you want others to have children, then it must be that misery loves company. No? If having children is so wonderful, why force others to have them? Why not let them come to that conclusion? No one ever complains about how hard it is, don't you find that suspicious? It never escapes their mouths that it's a full-time job. Misery might indeed love company. The number of women who do not have children is such a small number so it’s not like you are forcing me to have children because earth will suddenly run out of people. It is highly disrespectful to tell me what I can do with my body.

Having said that I will say a lot of discouraging things below to encouraging women not to have kids. Why? Because this is a website and I can do that, but I don’t go up to women with kids and ask why did you have them? But many people with kids think they can approach women without children and ask them why. What if I asked you why? Do you get the point? It is my body for a reason. I control when my arms move, when my legs move, etc. Do not force your nonsense on me.

Sure my judgment of you having kids is kept to myself. It is okay for me to not like a child as long as I treat your kids well, is it not? I don’t push them when they bump into me at the supermarket because of your lack of supervision. No. I realize that the fact that they bump into me has nothing to do with them, but it has everything to do with you. You see if I were a mother, I would hold my kid’s hand. Why? I would be that attentive to someone so small unable to fend for himself.

I do not want children. I do like them. I was wrong. Parents and their lack of common sense who pass that on to their kids is the problem. I don’t want children for many reasons and I will make a list shortly.

First I believe that the government should not control how many children women have. However, there is no way a 16-year old girl will comprehend arguments about overpopulation etc. Some women are careless in bed by failing to use condoms, so they need government-funded programs to help them remember why they do not want kids in the first place. And the government-funded programs to target teenage pregnancy and try to put an end to teen pregnancy by stating in a simple comprehensive way the reasons why having kids at a young age is a bad idea and the overpopulation argument can be made to them when they reach age 18 or 21, pick one.

For people like me, these programs would be reminders of the pressure of society and not to fall into the trap. Pressure from parents saying sentences like 'You will have children.' These government programs need to help women say ‘How dare you? This is my body.’ The pressure to have children is a huge one because it is isolating not to have kids when so many people are having children and forcing their views on you. How can I meet people like myself? So these government programs would bring like-minded people together.

The government need not tell people not to have children because they wouldn’t succeed, but they can help women see why it is beneficial not to have children. These agencies should be set up as an oasis for women to go to when the rest of the world is being judgmental. For instance, sometimes we don’t think about traditions. Why should we? It’s been done for thousands of years and sometimes we don’t pause because thousands of years is a long time to do something, so why change?

Below are my reasons for not having kids. I have no less right than a woman who has 10 children, because she decided to have 10 and I decided to have none. If my body is a machine for societal purposes, please let me know.

Reasons not to have children

1. You will work less because you have fewer mouths to feed.

2. You can retire sooner.

3. You will get more sleep and will not have to wake up in the middle of the night. You might get 8 hours or even 9 hours!

4. You will have lots of time to spend on yourself and significant other. Me time. Him time. Us time.

5. You can stay out late, take vacations whenever you want and spend less on vacations so you can take even more vacations. Life is less stressful and beautiful already. Now you’re living. Huh?

6. You will not invest 18 years into someone who may not take care of you when you get old. The selfish notion of having children to wipe your ass when you’re old will be gone and the job will instead be given to caregivers so you’re creating jobs. You’re now creating jobs. You see? You will single-handedly fix the economy. You’re somebody! You’ve made a difference. :) You know you’re immortal and will not have kids just to stay alive.

7. You will save the planet, less pollution and more food and resources to share among us who are already here. We are more likely to share because we know no one else will join us by surprise. Hello?

8. You will be able to adopt all the neglected kids in the world, because for every person who decides not to have kids, if they each adopt 2 children, maybe there would be no homeless kids in the world.

9. If there is running or panic and all hell breaks loose in the world, you will worry about yourself and not some little person’s future.

10. You won’t have huge arguments about how to discipline the kids or end up being a single father or mother because the person you thought would be there forever is not.

11. You won’t have to worry about dying while giving birth because there are many other ways to die.

12. You won’t have to worry about damaging the kid with your own DNA, low IQ or lack thereof, and just bad genes-period. I mean, don’t we all want to give birth to Einstein, but can we all? My IQ is 126, but come on, is that good enough? NO!!! Imagine not being blamed for fucking someone up-your kid might say, ‘You messed me up!’

13. You won’t have to worry about leaving behind an inheritance, paying for college or anything like that.

14. All the money you make would be spent on you. Imagine pink cotton candy, a puppy, seeing all of this huge country, eating lots and lots of delicious food at a restaurant in peace. What would extra money give you? Imagine being able to afford the best bed, which costs like $10,000 and literally sleeping in heaven (whatever floats your boat)

15. Imagine being in the car with someone (an adult)and not have to hear, ‘Mother-mom-mommy mommy mommy?’ Well you might still hear that. LOL. You get the idea…

16. Imagine not having to push a baby carriage down the streets and wondering will I have money to buy diapers.

17. Imagine a world with only ADULTS and no more kids like in the movie ‘Children Of Men.’ Imagine just leaving earth as is without causing further damage and focusing on the billions of people we have now. The kids who are here are already here, that’s fine. I was a kid once. But the world is full or almost at full capacity. If a child is not here, they’re not missing anything. If you’re religious they’re angels and if you’re not religious then they’re not missing anything. Heaven has more space. No? Heaven is prettier. No? Let’s leave earth as is. If you want to have kids, that’s fine, it is YOUR CHOICE, but if you’re on the fence, then think of my arguments.

18. Imagine working one job and not having another full-time one waiting at home.

19. Imagine what you would do with lots of free time. Free money.

20. And this is the most important. Think about how your life has been. Did you struggle? Did you have a hard time getting a job or going to school? What was your hardest trial? Do you think you can stand to have an extension of you go through that? If you had a great life, you’re the one who should be having kids because you can pass that on to them and they might have your luck and your joie de vivre.

Rant & Response: Is Tracy Morgan Being Made An Example?

2011-06-20T13:21:00.084-04:00

What Exactly is Tracy Morgan Apologizing For and What Was the Ultimate Message Behind Tina Fey's Response to the Controversy?
By Gerlyne Deneuve Maitre

Tracy Morgan seems to be on an apology tour after he made some homophobic comments while performing stand-up at Nashville, TN.

"Gay is something that kids learn from the media and programming.”
He went on further, explaining exactly what he would do if his son was a gay:

"Better talk to me like a man and not in a gay voice or I'll pull out a knife and stab that little n****r to death"
(TMZ reports).

"30 Rock" creator Tina Fey said in a statement that "It also doesn't line up with the Tracy Morgan I know, who is not a hateful man and is generally much too sleepy and self-centered to ever hurt another person."

Now, let me say this before anything else: she may honestly feel that way about Tracy Morgan; as a friend and co-worker, not to mention as an asset to a hit show of which she happens to be the executive producer. That said, I laughed; at first uttering something like how well could she really know Tracy Morgan to say ‘the Tracy that I know?’ I might have also said bitch. When I first read the word sleepy, of course I assumed like most people that she meant that he is tired, because after all, actors work very long shifts. However, after my friend substituted ‘sleepy’ with ‘lazy’ immediately afterward, I reexamined her statement, I thought, wait a minute…sleepy might indeed mean lazy, because lazy is a stereotype that black people have been fighting off for years. That’s when I was really interested in this hot mess of a story, like please tell me more.

Black people are said to be lazy in order to justify the fact that even more than a century after slavery was abolished, we are still struggling and highly dependent on a broken system to say the least. Although his race was never mentioned in any of the statements that I have read and he is not being called a ‘nigger,’ what does his sleepiness have to do with what he said? Could he not be sleepy and utter the same homophobic sentences? Could you not know him and yet sense that deep within he is secretly a bigot? The words of Tina Fey seem to have been carefully selected for that statement; words chosen to make a point perhaps. Sleepy is usually not a word that would be used for describing why someone could not have perpetrated such a deed. “He was too sleepy to rob the bank.” What is the correlation between getting enough sleep and having enough energy to say something hateful?

She continues, ”I hope for his sake that Tracy's apology will be accepted as sincere by his gay and lesbian coworkers at '30 Rock,' without whom Tracy would not have lines to say, clothes to wear, sets to stand on, scene partners to act with, or a printed-out paycheck from accounting to put in his pocket”.

Essentially, she is letting everyone know that Tracy Morgan cannot hurt her show because she is not only too powerful to be brought down by that guy, but she can end his career with a snap of her finger. However, if he still wants crummy crumbs, then he better not have hurt their ratings. Otherwise he will go down by himself. Even though he has worked on the show, the minute he does something they feel embarrasses them and their image, it is no longer a team, he becomes an individual and a liability, and he stands alone. She lets everyone know that NBC hires gays and lesbians, perhaps because she wants to prove that NBC is an Equal Opportunity Employer, and as executive producer she believes in equality by association. It is like saying, “we are not homophobic, point your fingers to him.”

It also may have a double meaning; letting him know that there are too many gays in the industry he’s potentially offended to even think that finding a job in television will be easy in the future. It is an economic threat to Morgan, saying that if the NBC team does not view his apology as sincere that they might fire him. Fey’s qualifier, ”for his sake” implies that he and only he has a lot to lose. What else is there to lose other than your job? Whether or not his gay and lesbian co-workers accept his apology, in the end it is about ratings and how this incident affects the show. Even his gay co-workers cannot possibly believe that if the show’s ratings increased that Morgan is going anywhere anytime soon. She basically states that it is purely about the bottom line; we pay you, we give you a paycheck, don’t embarrass us because those checks don’t write themselves and they may cease. We can make you poor if you fuck with our little show that is so very popular and generates many advertising dollars.

Although Morgan is going on those tours apologizing, we have to wonder if it is a sincere apology, or a career-saving (and show-saving) publicity tour sanctioned by his offended and now-vulnerable employers. One has to wonder why he is apologizing for something he said with such conviction. This is not the first time he’s intimated such beliefs; he apparently believed in what he said, so how can he sincerely be sorry? If NBC is encouraging him to apologize, do they really believe that he is not homophobic? Why should he apologize when it appears he is apologizing simply so that he can work in the industry in the future? Why should he apologize if NBC knows that if the ratings drop, they will probably write him out of the show somehow or replace him by the next dance-for-chicken black character? An apology should not be something that others compel one to do for their own sake.

Actually, someone who is mocking them with an insincere apology in order to keep his job and the status quo safe should outrage the gay and lesbian community. The tone of NBC in their statements regarding the incident seems to be about the bottom line and not so much about supporting gay and lesbian rights. If they were more concerned about their pro gay image, he would have been terminated immediately. They want to see what happens to the ratings before they make a decision because there does not seem to be urgency on their part. Tina Fey saying ‘for his sake’ implies someone waiting to make a decision. Threatening to cut your son’s throat would have gotten a lot of people at the network fired up, why should Tracy Morgan be any different? Is it not OK now because he is not just acting those race stereotypes that people love and now has broadened the insults so to speak? So it was OK when he offended me as a black woman with his characterizations?

If NBC is primarily interested in the bottom line, then they should not be the ones to scold Tracy Morgan. Here is what I think of Tracy: what he said was irresponsible. He was wrong because making assumptions about homosexuality and that it is a choice rather than biological is wrong. When I first heard this story, I thought, is he stupider than I thought? However, working for perhaps one of the most pro-gay and lesbian large corporations on the planet and making gay jokes and ridiculing their lifestyle is unwise and a slap to the face to his bosses in a ‘don’t bite the hand that feeds you’ kind of way. His so-called joke was not funny and took on a nasty turn not simply because he made homophobic remarks, but by the violent imagery that followed. This country does not need another incident of suicide or murder because a bad comedian thought he was being funny by making a personal issue that should have been left between him and his son a public rant. Also, while many people, not myself personally, condone his statement; he was out of line for his use of the N-word in combination with violence. The N word can often have a different connotation when a black person uses it and black people tried to give it less power by overusing it with each other. I seldom use that word because I never want to use it like Morgan did, reinforcing the hate that drove the ultimate meaning of that term.

In the end, Tina Fey might have been angry. When people are angry, they can say things that hit home. This isn’t a home run ‘race vs. sexuality’ issue. No one knows for sure if Morgan is being looked upon as a black man or just an individual who did something bad or stupid. However to have hired a walking stereotype to begin with is where it is perplexing and should be called into question when Fey makes the type of statements she did in response to such an ugly incident. Were there not other talented black men in Hollywood with more accomplishments to have been the token black man that is required for every show? Is it not the networks’ responsibility to discuss what is an appropriate representation of their image with an actor before hiring him or her? If the networks need to cover their butt, then they should know who they are hiring.

At any rate, a few questions can be analyzed. Does sexuality trump race? Was it OK when Morgan was acting like a clown during his stand up comedy shows when he perpetuated stereotypes and made some people of his own race cringe? What exactly happened during all this time that now makes people go from laughing out loud to being outraged?

It Speaks For Itself

2011-06-19T21:43:00.000-04:00

Rest In Peace, Big Man.

This Is A Sampling Sport...

2011-04-16T07:18:00.005-04:00

It's rather fitting that I'm writing this on Record Store Day. Anybody that really knows Will and I know that we are students of the sound collage, the audio cut-up. A good part of our friendship in its early stages was based around taking bits and pieces from different records, cassettes, CDs, television shows and commercials, and mixing all of that up to create something fun and amusing, even if it was only funny to us. I liked to refer to it as "blackdada", an absurdist audio take on being Black in America. However, as Will once accurately stated through his Ozzark & Company comic strip, "You can never take Blackness too seriously."

The above trailer is from a documentary called Copyright Criminals, which is all about sampling culture and features a number of great artists in hip-hop, soul, funk, and rock music. It was part of the Independent Lens series on PBS and it's also available to watch through Netflix and Hulu. My man Fitz recently tipped me off to an online mixtape put together by one of my cut-up heroes, the great Steve Stein a.k.a. Steinski. His latest Rough Mix includes music discussed in the new book Creative License: The Law and Culture of Digital Sampling. It also incorporates bits of commentary from Copyright Criminals weaved through this amazing connect-the-dots hodgepodge of songs from the likes of James Brown, De La Soul, Public Enemy, Steely Dan, Marley Marl, Jungle Brothers, A Tribe Called Quest, Parliament-Funkadelic, and a bunch of other sample origins that are escaping me right now. It's incredible. It celebrates the art of sampling and music making as a whole and the mix is ABSOLUTELY FREE for the taking.

You can find the mix for free download right here. Consider this the official jump start to your weekend. Enjoy...

This Or That: Most Impressive MC-DJ Duo

2011-02-08T08:25:00.001-05:00

It's 2:45 in the morning as I write this, and being that I've found myself awake a lot lately, I decided to contemplate pressing questions of the hour. Being that no one in their right mind would be up at this hour, I skimmed through Facebook, where a friend posted "You should have a healthy fear of us..." in his dark, hardcore spoken-word fashion, yet to me it delightfully hearkens back to the 80's PSA below:

(I used to seriously joke on this commercial as a kid)

As I was wandering down memory lane, including the thought of how Busta Rhymes would reference the chorus twenty years later on his chart burner Dangerous, my derisive mind also began to think of a Doug E Fresh PSA about drugs which at the end he references Pink Floyd's The Wall with "And kids... Lea' Dat Crack Alone!" (you had to be there...), which oddly enough, Method Man references in his duo with Redman for How High (Part 2). While I didn't find the Doug E Fresh clip, I discovered the origin of the Dougie Dance (...really?) as well as the following:

For some reason, this led to research about some of the more interesting duos of what is referred to as the "Golden Age of Hip Hop" when rapping was, um, fun and/or meaningful... and beats were hard, loud and sampled...

Oh, I know what it was. I looked up the entry for Doug E. Fresh in Wikipedia, which revealed to me that as revered as he is in the Hip Hop Community, he did not have much of a discography to speak of, compared to his original cohort Slick Rick. I began debating in my mind, if I were a rapper, whose career would I rather have, Doug E Fresh or Slick Rick? I mean really, Doug E Fresh only had two or three LPs at best, which are all out of print. He produced the fine debut of Lil Vicious, who went on to great whatever. He also appeared on quite a few mainstream shows and inspired a generation of beatboxers more than either The Human Beatbox from the Fat Boys or even Biz Markie, but as far as I can tell, it's apples and oranges... I give the career success to Doug, but the lyrical legend is definitely Rick the Ruler.

This tangent led me to also look up the life and times of Eric B & Rakim; their origins, their impact and their split. For what it's worth, this duo is probably the first pairing of MC and DJ that was not only a sustained success, but had a major impact on hip hop in general. Up until their debut in 1986, breakbeats were primarily from dance songs or synthesizers. When Eric B introduced the hip hop world to the likes of Fonda Rae (reused more faithfully by De La Soul nearly a decade later) and... James Brown (yes, the rebirth began here), it did indeed have a mind-blowing impact on hip hop music. Dee Jays and producers raced to the nearest record store to dig up James Brown records and eventually the records of those he influenced directly and the age of sampling exploded onto the scene. They maintained a largely minimalist sound to their tracks, in terms of sampling breakbeats and scrathing, while Rakim redifined the art of rhyming with his razor sharp and edgy, yet lavalike flow. The direction of their musical sound would eventually land somewhere near the bebop fusion era that A Tribe Called Quest would take to new heights before Eric B and Rakim went their seperate ways; Rakim kicking around for years until his solo debut in the late 90s while Eric B faded away from the music industry altogether.

Some time in 1989 we witnessed the debut of another fine MC/DJ duo, Keithee "Guru" E and DJ Premier, collectively known as Gangstarr. I would consider them a more experimental version of Eric B & Rakim in that Guru certainly had a vocal flow that reminded one of an even more laid back and reflective Rakim, while Premier's samples were more prevalent while his beats and scratching were sparse, edgier and increasingly obscure. During their run together they combined both class and street in a manner that inspired many others in their own era. Guru would eventually go solo and also experiment with other styles and beats with his four volumes of Jazzmatazz (which often sounded more like an extension of what he was doing with Gangstarr) while Premier made beats for other up-and-coming and well known artists, but sadly, Guru's untimely death last year came at a moment when hip hop had largely forgotten where he was.

Around this time we also began to hear the collaborations of another duo who defined the era they were in, Pete Rock & CL Smooth. Pete Rock took Premier's beatmaking a step further by also mixing in stylized horns and a sometimes slightly off-beat rhyme style, while CL Smooth's quick and polished flow complimented those beats almost seamlessly. For me, the highlight of their partnership was the touching tribute to fallen friend and Heavy D & The Boyz member Troy "Trouble T-Roy" Dixon. There are few people who listen to the sad, stepping horn and haunted chorus without getting maybe a lump in their throat. They also eventually parted ways due to creative differences and seemed unlikely to ever team up again, but unlike Guru and Premier who stopped speaking to each other and never resolved their differences before Guru's death, the two made up (inspired by the tragedy of Gangstarr) and are currently collaborating on a new album.

So my question to you is, among these three duos (with the rise of the producer, the dee jay became a fairly non-essential member of the hip hop-making process), which do you think had the biggest impact on hip hop music and why?

Eric B & Rakim - Don't Sweat The Technique

Gangstarr - Moment of Truth

Pete Rock & CL Smooth - T.R.O.Y.

MTA STRIKES AGAIN...AREN'T ALL VAMPIRES BLOODSUCKERS?

2010-12-28T04:13:00.005-05:00

By Joliet Jake

Well, well, well...That is mighty White of the MTA to hit us the loyal rider/commuter over the heads with yet another fare hike for an undermined service.
I have heard it said that "you cannot get blood from a stone", but as of late it seems that attempts have yielded blood and continue to do so. In a time with no jobs, unemployment limitations, and big budget cutbacks, the almighty Metropolitan Transit Authority still sees fit to bleed the public for more dough, socking it to us once again. Where will people draw the line? When will they decide that enough is enough? Just how much longer will it be until the level of crime reaches unbearable heights? These are all questions of pertinence to the common man who does not have his own SUV-mounted personal driver and therefore has to deal with and live amongst the residual collateral damage resulting from the blatant MTA and government price gouging of an already-withering public. Withering in the sense that the average blue collar worker is living check to check, putting them one paycheck away from being broke and going belly-up. Bearing their infamously blood thirsty capitalistic fangs, the MTA just steamrolls ahead right to another fare hike.
In my most recent experience, my only the choice was to stand and wait for trains and hope they come on time so I can get where I have to go for work. The flip side of this has gone unnoticed for some reason, but is real none the less: when services are cut, you have to get up even earlier in the morning, losing more sleep and setting the stage for weakening and poor health conditions for such individuals. So, not only are we paying more, we are receiving less service, losing precious sleep to compensate for the cuts in service lines. Just how much more does the MTA want? The answer, ALL OF IT!!!!!

That's right, now imagine the MTA holding YOU up by your Achilles heel (how appropriate) shaking all of the pennies and lint from your pockets and filling their already bulging bellies and wallets. If you do not believe me just strike up some small talk with a rider and they will tell you. It is on the tip of every one's tongue, but no one will do anything. Such as stage a mass MTA boycott for as long as it takes for them to realize that hikes are unfair plain and simple and (in the words of Twisted Sister) "We're not gonna take it anymore!" With three fare increases in the last 3 years, and service slashes (it has gone beyond cuts), they have rendered the victim passenger helpless with only the option to wait for the eventual metro while bleeding from the jugular and carotid arteries. As long as the riders continue to pay without protest, so shall the bludgeoning continue until we have nothing left but to sleep on the very trains like so many unfortunate few; but of course then they would order all police personnel to ticket those very people in order to ensure profit at all angles.
Ever since this economic downturn (or rather planned destruction) took hold of this nation, The MTA, along with other agencies, have just terrorized the public with astronomical inflation and price swelling. It's all just one BIG MONEY GRAB!!!! Every corporation, every sector of government, they are all penny pinching and hording as much liquid wealth as they can to allocate amongst the upper "Cream?" of their Blood Soaked Empires of greed. With the public already crying and having long since thrown in the towel, the punches just keep coming. Demanding more and more from our already thinned and still thinning pockets, bank accounts, safes, and whatever else. Like beaten wives or girlfriends, the public just do not have the wherewithal to raise a single voice or commit to an all out boycott of the Transit Authority for even a day or half a day. It is a sad, tired, shame to witness such defeat without any effort made to conquer the odds.

Everyday as I ride the trains I see the very hardworking fabric upon which this nation was built with sullen sadness in there eyes. They...We all suffer at that hands of a gangster controlled corporate-ocracy.There is no longer a question of when will it be too late. It is already too late. We may as well just hand over our wallets, banks, safes etc to the MTA and the like who continue to bleed us out of all of our nickels. It seems like just yesterday that the MTA was all the rave about billion dollar surpluses and the likes; Dare I ask what happened to the so called overflow of liquid assets? Dare anybody ask? I wish it worked like for us and our paychecks. I wish were able to just continue making more and more and more demands and just continue to bleed the increases out of our employers. And VOILA!, magic cash just appears from our employers.

It will now cost $29.00 for a weekly unlimited pass, and an ear ringing slap of $104 for a monthly pass. On my budget, I will not be buying anymore monthly passes for some time. I mean between the Rent just being to Damned High and the rising cost of...EVERYTHING, you just can't catch a break or get ahead in any way, shape or fashion. Forget about savings if you do not make a six figure salary in this god-forsaken land and city called New York. It used to be the city that never sleeps for its night life. Now it is the city that never sleeps for the fact that with all the metro cuts and service slashes, one does not have the time or luxury to sleep unless of course you've got that SUV-mounted personal driver I mentioned earlier.

Something here clearly has to give. Either we continue to be bled out by our corporate serial killers who include the MTA, or we make a voice to be heard. Remember, even when aggravated one can make a peaceful movement maintaining order still getting the desired attention. If we could ever sensibly organize they would have left us not choice but to peaceably decline use of the metro system...

The Assassination of Yogi Bear by the Coward Booboo

2010-12-16T00:09:00.001-05:00

Just... brilliant. A brilliant parody. Go see the movie it references.

USED AND ABUSED TO THE TUNE OF THE PRODUCTION BLUES

2010-11-28T02:59:00.007-05:00

Now this is a real kick in the face for having an impressive Resume. I have been working in film production as a PA for more than four years now. It seems I cannot go upward regardless of the projects I have undertaken on my Resume. No matter how many times I work with those who repeatedly hire me, I cannot seem to go any higher than the corner lock up PA that they all think of when things are tough and near to impossible; or the job that no one else will do. For example, I just recently got called and booked to do a job as a walkie/communications PA however, the "Ahaaaa..." is that in addition to being responsible for communications, and doing Lock-ups which I will no doubt be called upon to do, I have to drive a 31 ft. "Camper?". I mean, what kind of shit is that!!? This is the first I have ever heard of such a thing; a PA driving a 31 ft. Camper...Typically, on "Big Shows"(that is, major motion pictures) Teamsters or unionized drivers usually have that job and it is their only responsibility to get the truck/trailer/campers and all the contents therein to the set on time and ready without delay; and this is no easy task taking into consideration that these vehicles need to be parked and in most cases driven on specific commercial routes which itself can add hours to your day. This type of misuse of PA's is found rampant in what I refer to as "Indie Truck and Fuck" feature films; meaning quite simply that you must drive a truck and then bend over and get fucked on the set to wrap to truck again.
In a time like this when people are loosing jobs and going belly-up, I should be thankful to have, and I am. Just wondering when, or if my level of employment will ever increase and will I ever begin to get the pay that I am qualified to receive? Is it wrong for me to want better for myself? Am I somehow showing lack of appreciation by desiring to make more money? Should I give up my pursuit of climbing to the highest heights I can climb and be content with the work all others refuse? These are all questions that any person with any ambition and motivation would ask. How is it possible for one person to work on so many clown town projects? Should I consider these types of jobs a favor, an opportunity, or just a plain swift kick in the ass? God knows I have never been a lazy person, but this is ridiculous. When I got the call, I know this particular 1st AD(1st Assistant Director) called other people who turned the job down because of the ridiculousness being asked for the pay. He will most likely not take it personally and call those people again when he has something "better" for them by THEIR standards to work on and not call me although it was me who did not turn him down. I am willing to go as far as to speculate that the entire production team had made calls to their people to see if they could get any takers for the job before remembering my name and calling me. I am constantly expected to pull these types of jobs and work near 24 hours/day exhausting myself on these bullshit projects. I have heard it said that he who does nothing is idle, but so is he who is underemployed also idle...
When in school, I was always told that my Resume was my ticket to better employment. Work hard, and your record will earn you the pay and position you desire. What a load of bullshit that was...If that were the case, I would be a studio level producer. There is a positive side to this that cannot go unnoticed. I feel that it is because of my experience, that I am for better than those who turn this work down or are "too good" to work on these shitty, test your mettle feature films. I am better as a producer, an AD(although that is not what I want to do), and all around production personnel due to my experience on various sets and enduring many projects that others turned down. Although I gave myself a timeline of ten years to become the producer I want to, I wonder if I will ever break through this apparent glass ceiling?

This or That: "Love Won't Let Me Wait"

2010-11-06T23:45:00.000-04:00

I'm going through some writer's block again; I'm trying to write a treatment for an epic miniseries while editing my script for Community Service; at the same time producing (for lack of a better term) a short horror flick for some Bronxnet buddies. Meanwhile my roomie and I survived a flood in our apartment that could have been a lot more tragic (picture a burst pipe spraying water directly onto an open circuit breaker box). Mix that all together and you have a nice case of writer's block.

In an effort to break the block, I'm tossing around some ideas and sharing them with you. One of them is This or That, a not very original idea, but with some serious consideration about which of the paired items discussed is better and why. I won't yet tell you which one I prefer, not until I read some interesting thoughts about the one you voted for.

First up, I give you the ballad Love Won't Let Me Wait, recorded most famously first by Major Harris and covered brilliantly by Luther Vandross. Others have made versions of this song, but these two are not only the best known versions, but in all fairness the best two. And of the two, which do you think is the top choice?

Major Harris (1975)

Luther Vandross (1988)

Choose the one you like best and why.

The HTC EVO 4G: Lessons Sent in Ridiculous Packaging

2010-09-26T22:00:00.007-04:00

"Sim simma, who the keyz to ma beama?"

"Do you want fries and a drink with that?"

Sometimes life gives us lessons sent in ridiculous packaging. - Dar Williams

I just recently bought this new Droid phone and, not for nothing, my only complaint is the packaging. I mean, it is a phone and technological device that costs almost $500 retail and they don't even take the time to pay attention to a fine detail such as the packaging of the thing.

Call me old-fashioned, but I remember a time when companies took the time to pay attention to the pristine package design for a superior product. However, this superior product for the money spent comes packaged in what appears to be a Ramen noodles pack or something of the likes purchased at your local store in Chinatown, NYC. I have no idea what the marketing team at HTC was thinking when they decided on the packaging of the product; it really is quite horrible.

Now, while I'm no expert on cell phone marketing or distribution, yet appears that it would behoove any cell phone manufacturer to make certain that their product is properly represented in the market place among so much competition. I would never have expected such a high-end device to be presented so poorly.

It doesn't even come with headphones. Really?

Talk about being a stingy, greedy, capitalist pig-headed company. This to me represents the apex of capitalist debauchery to the highest degree. Don't get me wrong here, it is a superior product, but imagine if you bought a Ferrari and the key was given to you in a plain manila envelope with a faded logo haphazardly stamped on it... I'll bet if you had the money, you would probably not buy another Ferarri, no?

The same thing applies here. It boasts itself as being the Ferrari of cell phones and the first 4G phone released to the public, yet it is packaged like it's being sold behind the counter at a discount dollar store. It just doesn't make any sense, no matter how you slice it.

I may not be a big fan of Macintosh and their products, but at least they have the class to present their iPhone 4 to the world and its consumers in a very pristine, classy package that demands respect.

And it came with headphones!!!! (...well, okay maybe not those, but the principle's the same. )

What a bright idea, a multimedia device that comes with headphones. Maybe all of the geniuses work for Steve Jobs. The new, bold 4G iPhone comes packaged in a box that is vacuum sealed; upon opening, the consumer hears the rushing sound of suction accompanied by that special factory-new smell of freshness; an item made with care and competence. Comparing the two, these phones are clearly like night and day. To me, Mac clearly took pride in their new release to mobile telephony market, whereas HTC just threw it out there and said, "Here, now stop whining!"

The nicest thing I can say is that it is a disappointment that HTC allowed for their product to be packaged so poorly and not even include a pair of headphones to accompany the pricey device. It is a resounding slap in the face to any consumer who has chosen this product because they feel it is superior and will add ease and convenience to their lives.

Shame on you HTC... the only thing this package is missing is a pair of chopsticks and some class.

Reggie Watts: F_ck Sh_t Stack

2010-07-31T20:50:00.000-04:00

Just because I like it so much; it basically illustrates my thoughts on the current state of music we are constantly subjected to from peoples' loud car stereos and such...

Footstools of Opportunity: A Cursory First Look at the Essay "Immigration, African Americans and Racial Discourse" by Stephen Steinberg

2010-07-25T23:21:00.000-04:00

I'm currently writing an analysis of LeBron James' free agency event (for lack of a better term) and what it says about him, the people and agencies involved and society in general. I happen to think the whole thing is far more involved than people are willing to admit or able to see, but then deep analysis is what I do when I'm quiet. That's been taking up a major amount of my time, along with various film and tv gigs, so don't get upset that I haven't posted in a month. I keep telling my colleagues here that they should consider picking up the slack as it were, but they all have more involved lives than I do, like having real jobs and being parents and all; and I find nothing wrong with that (in other words, I don't want to tick them off >;)

In the meantime, I was perusing Google for documents my uncle says were given to immigrants at Ellis Island that included frank instructions to "ignore Negroes", as they were considered prevalent non-entities. I can't imagine anyone would have the guts to upload such a document on the web, thus proving a long-held belief in the black community that immigrants were encouraged by the United States to be racist or prejudiced towards American blacks, but I did find an interesting document from the textbook Race and Labor Matters in the New U.S Economy by Joseph Wilson, Manning Marable and Immanuel Ness.

There is also a report and article by NPR contributor Michel Martin which also looks at the issues of various ethnic minorities and their perceptions of each other.

For anyone who has said or believes that immigrants of any particular stripe consistently outperform American blacks for various reasons; among them being that American blacks undermine themselves, these are must-reads and a needed wake-up call. It is not pejorative, nor does it seek to be divisive or reassign blame. It is a call to wake up to the reality that there has been a consistent and pervasive manipulation of everyone by a class that would no more have immigrants join them in their position than they would have the class of people they denigrate to them.

As you can plainly see, I don't just reminisce about my past lives; I also seek to enlighten. Hopefully this article will put you further along in that direction. Feel free to discuss here or shoot me an email; most importantly, keep the dialogue productive. >;)

Note: I notice in many places that race discussion gets overwhelmed by ignorance of all kinds; this is the internet, but at our site, we don't abide by cowardice in the guise of anonymous expression. Not all anonymous expressions are from cowards, but it's pretty evident what constitutes cowardice, and it will not be tolerated or propageted here; racist and ignorant comments will be removed, so don't bother proving my point.

My Mom and My Theory

2010-06-20T00:33:00.000-04:00

This weekend marks the thirteenth year since the worst day of my life. Nothing that ever happens to me from that point on could ever be as bad as then, having had my whole life rendered assunder and starting anew as though I had never previously existed. Yet, as time has gone on, I ponder whether I would have had the gumption to pursue the path I have chosen any further than I have; whether I would have been further along than now or perhaps doing something entirely different.

As it is, I feel as though the ten years that followed were part of a life sentence in the deepest, darkest hole in solitary confinement in a prison everyone has heard of, but no one could find. In recent years, I have slowly reemerged on Facebook, rediscovering friends and acquaintences from years past. Some had given me up for dead, some knew I was around, but could not find me. I know that my "blackout period" was unreasonable in many ways; I was a shell of my former self in knowledge and ambition, only trying to survive as opposed to striving forward to an unknown destiny. I lost ground to many people younger than I am in the film industry and other fields I was once had a burning desire to dominate. Today I feel like an old man, lost in a new wave and confused about where I belong. And the worst part is, I'm not old (still thirty-something)...

And every year, around this time, I feel it. It creeps up on me and pulsates in the cold, where my heart once beat and my mind once beaconed. It does its level best to overwhelm me and remind me of what I lost not only then, but in the ensuing years. My innocence is gone. My youth is fading. My idealism is checked. Much that remains is dreamlike, but without the spark that ignited so many ideas and a concerted effort to bring them to fruition.

I have lost my belief in people. I become irritable and uncomfortable in company, thus avoiding as much social activity as possible. I'm suspicious of a person's intent, especially when a compliment is involved.

I have given up on finding or retaining love. The few relationships I've had up to now have ended with the woman staying friends with me for years, then disappearing *snap* just like that. I remind myself that it's the price of admission for the game I chose to play, where I can become rich and famous for entertaining people with stories based on my own bewilderment; a promising life not cut off too early, but stunted and repuposed by God's will.

And as I write this, either adding to the lie or lying to myself, I think of what has inspired such self-loathing and destructive thinking...

I miss my sister, and I miss my Mom.

They were heroes. To hear it from my siblings and my niece who grew up with me like a sister, they somehow managed to saved us from the world we currently live in. Idealism in its last form, a portrait of innocence before it completely disappears. To this day I torture myself with their memory and how the world is just a cold and empty space without their voices and the warmth of their presence. I cannot replace what has been lost, so I cling to what I have left: their memories.

To which, I present this song. Think of it as a representation; not of the facts (neither Mom nor my sister suffered the horror that is the unsaid subject of this song), but of the theory of what has been happening to my soul since then. As as I get older (faster as time goes), the song seems to resonate with me more. For now, it just hurts.

I hope you undestand why I had to write this sad piece; I'm not the type to hold back. I do hope, however, that there is something to be learned by whatever I have written here, and that it may help someone (maybe yourself), put things in their own proper perspective. I may be off-base, but I'm honest.

Above The Clouds

2010-04-20T17:08:00.003-04:00

I chant eenie meenie, minie moe
I wreck da mic like a pimp pimps hoes
Here's how it goes I am a genius I mean this
I shake this you'll take this
I'm kinda fiendish
You wish that you could come into my neighborhood
Meaning my mental state
Still I'm 5 foot 8
Crazy as I wanna be
Cause I make it orderly
You could say I'm sorta da boss so get lost
The brotha dat will make you change opinions
Dominions I'm in them when it's time to kick shit from
The heart, plus I get a piece of the action
I'm feelin satisfaction from the street crowd reaction
Chumps pull guns when they feel afraid, too late
When they dip in the kick they get sprayed
Lemonade was a popular drink and in still is
I get more props and stunts than Bruce Willis
A poet like Langston Hughes and can't lose when I cruise
Out on the expressway
Leavin the Bodega I say "suave"
Premier's got more beats den barns got hay
Clips are inserted into my gun
So I can take the money, neva have ta run
Guru from Gangstarr, "DWYCK"

Macedonia and I were watching Yo! MTV Raps when we saw the video for their first single, Manifest. Dressed in Nation of Islam garb (going for broke with a remarkable likeness to Malcolm X), alternating with street issue gear, Keithie E's monotone rolled along smoothly and connected the obviously disjointed images in a way no one else was really thinking of at that time. Complimented by Premiere's acrobatic cuts and hardcore beats, the two grabbed our attention and held it for years to come.

Yet I admit that I laughed when I first saw the video. He had a very big mouth, and if you turned down the volume, you'd be fascinated by how wide his mouth flapped as he rhymed. Perhaps I responded to the gesticulations and overenunciation inherent in earlier rap videos, perhaps my mind having been spoiled by cartoons was connecting the images in the usual manner. Still, I knew well enough that these guys were worth listening to, if not for the rapper, than certainly the dee jay. Who was making beats like that?

The second single and the accompanying video, Positivity sealed the deal for me. These guys were definitely here to stay, and not only that, they were a welcome addition. There was a certain level of tranquility that allowed the message to penetrate our thoughts, thanks to Keith "The Guru" and his low, single-toned delivery on a gold platter spun by his partner DJ Premiere.

Yet, aside from the mainstream attention-grabbing Just To Get a Rep, it wasn't until the third album that it really all came together for them. "Daily Operation", led by the edgy Take It Personal was likely where you can see the duo being comfortable in their own skins, grabbing the hip-hop world by the collar and applying a Vulcan pinch. This was definitely Jeep-worthy material; in that they declared their claim to the streets, yet in doing so retained a significant amount of dignity by rapping with intellect and strong technique (never mind that I had a 1980 Mustang hatchback).

When they seperated to do their own projects, their personalities projected even further into the hip hop diaspora. Premiere would, among others, produce some of the most seminal hip-hop tracks for the likes of Biggie Smalls, aka Notorious B.I.G. and other top-shelf rappers of the generation following his, while Guru's influence expanded overseas and around the world, crossing musical realms into jazz. It may be safe to say that Guru is as well known for his inspired jazz projects as for the mark he made on hip-hop.

That is not to say that it was easy, or that he became a superstar in either case. Guru had troubles; which he reflected on in the album "Moment of Truth", which to me stands as an epilogue on his life, now that it has run it's course. I believe we all have an innate knowledge of when our life is coming to a conclusion, and we begin to reflect on what we've done, what we should have done and what what to do now. In retrospect, my own mother was telling me as much in the last year of her life, and I found the words intuitively from my father, whose tired body was preparing for the long journey into night. And that's also not to say that Guru really said much in the end for us to consider; who knew he'd been fighting cancer all this time? I don't think anyone believed it at first. Yet we all tell that story at some point in our lives, and after it's done we prepare for the next level.

Guru was not my favorite rapper, but he was one I held in high regard and was a natural part of my collection. His time here definitely produced interesting material, and his impact is most felt now that he is gone. Forgive me, for it will take a while to sink in. Nevertheless, I can't help but believe he's much better off where he is now. Certainly we of the Hip Hop nation are less without him.

Above the crowds above the clouds
where the sounds are original
infinite skills create miracles
warrior spiritual
Above the clouds raining down
Holdin' it down...

Latest Gig: Background P.A. on "Homework"

2010-03-27T14:28:00.000-04:00

My latest gig is as background P.A. on a low-budget feature called "Homework" starring Freddie Highmore and Emma Roberts among other note-worthies (not to be confused with several other films with the same title, I noticed). I knew at least half the crew before we started and everyone's cool; the AD department is especially likable. As I write this, we're on Day 3 of 22 and I've been really hustling, making mistakes of course, but they're the learning variety and my supes have been impressed.

(Picture: A prepared Background PA. I'm still in the learning stages, I guess... )

One particular mistake that had me burning inspired me to make a system I'm sure will make the process easier and more efficient. When you're dealing with a multitude of restless background players, who are for the most part just sitting around waiting to be called to set, chances are you will get crossed up at some point about who has done what, who is wearing what and who needs to do what. After the twelfth hour, you're not going to remember this stuff in your head and mistakes will happen, which they did. Fortunately, they were not critical mistakes, though I personally thought they were.

As I sat and contemplated critically over seemingly critical mistakes, I came up with a simple solution: create a chart that will breakdown scenes, the number of the background player in that scene and what that player is wearing for that scene. It's so simple, I'm sure there's a chart for this specific purpose already, but I'm going to make one for myself so I can keep my thoughts (and especially the thoughts of the 2nd AD) together. So, I doubt I will be making this mistake again.

What do Background PAs do, you ask? We process and organize background talent (extras) on behalf of the Assistant Director and his/her seconds, who set the players in various positions in the camera frame and give them quick directions on what to do. At the beginning of the day, the background talent will come to me in a specific holding area, where I check them in off of a list called "skins" that has their name and assigned number. I give them releases to fill out and sign; these are for permission to use their images in the film for whatever purpose production has for them (i.e. exposition, marketing, etc.) at the agreed rate, which is always a set day rate. These releases must be filled out every day and kept organized for later use.

A member of the wardrobe department will come in and look over whatever clothing and sets of clothing (changes) the talent was told to bring that will give them an authentic look according to the description of scene; sometimes providing changes if they have the budget to do so. After wardrobe approves, we all wait for the 2nd AD to call for stand-ins (extras who literally stand in for the principal talent on set during technical rehearsal), then selects the number of background talent he/she wants for the scene. I will select whatever number is needed (a few to all) and escort them to set, then depending on the needs of the 2nd AD I usually stay to assist in placing and queuing background, and when the scene is completed I escort them all back to holding and organize for the next scene.

What I've learned so far is that these changes occur quickly, and I have to keep up by knowing who is needed in the scene and in what type of outfit. I have to keep the background talent informed and prepared for the needs of the scene, then hustle them on and off set as needed. Again, this can be hectic and confusing without a system in place to organize them, so each player is assigned a number for accounting purposes, but it helps me organize the talent for my chart as well.

At the end of the day, I sign out the background players on a sheet provided by accounting and pay them according to the designated rate. After that, I fill out a report that describes the number of background players as well as their in, out and meal times, not to mention a running tally of how many background have been used to date. When all the paperwork has been processed, I take my leave, drive the electric department truck back to the lot and go home to sleep for a couple of hours and start again the next day. Literally.

I've been a freelance PA for over four years, and I've been working in the film industry off and on since 1995 when I first interned as a locations assistant for the Hudson Valley Film & Video Office. At the same time I was cast in my first starring role on a straight-to-video production called "Brothers" by the ancient Greek slave/writer Terence. I was a background player for two years on several big TV shows and feature films, and jumped to the other side of the camera after graduating from film school, going full time as a freelancer when I realized I was getting calls on a regular basis. In all that time, I've worked in various departments, but I've never run background like I am now. It has been a learning process indeed, but according to the 2nd AD and others, I've been a real asset, which was my intention from the start. So I'll keep learning and growing with this experience, and hope to land similar work right after this; keep the streak alive and all. I've been hustling like crazy and I'm tired. But it's a good tired. >;)

The Railrodder (1965)

2010-03-22T05:02:00.000-04:00

I remember in elementary school when we had assemblies, we would watch a movie or a national TV event, like the first flight of the space shuttle Columbia, or a presentation of Pete's Dragon, or even a tour of the puppet cast for a program debuting later that year (which the name, for the life of me, escapes me). Watching these kinds of things together in an auditorium sounds weird nowadays, but I guarantee you that they made some lasting impressions on my generation. I may not remember the names of all of the programs we'd seen or the people who gave us presentations (a science-fantasy author for one, who was impressed with my theory on time and space relative to the speed of light), but I remember what had taken place, where I was sitting, who was with me and flashes of what we watched.

Tonight of all nights, I was struck by inspiration to track down the name of a movie we'd watched in one of those assemblies; in my mind it was a black-and-white silent film about a man riding on a railroad handcar cross-country and living as though he were in his own home. It was an ingenious little film because it played on kids' love of trains, not to mention the rustic scenery that burned a permanent impression on my mind. I happened to be watching a Buster Keaton film (Our Hospitality) in which in the early part of the film he was riding an ancient train from New York City to the Blue Ridge Mountains of West Virginia to claim an inheritance. I was fascinated by the fact that the train depicted as the 1829 Stevenson Rocket was a replica and really nothing more than a smallish steam locomotive pulling what looked like narrow and ornate stagecoaches. Seems as though Buster Keaton really liked trains; the movie I thought we watched in assembly, The General, was not in fact the same movie, but was great nonetheless (even if his character was inadvertently on the "wrong" [Confederate] side.) Nevertheless, it is considered one of the finest movies involving trains.

Then I got the notion to look online for movies involving handcars; the pump-trollies that you might remember from Westerns (Blazing Saddles; the quicksand scene) or Warner Brothers/Hanna Barbera cartoons and I came across a great train enthusiasts site, Rail Serve, which among other things lists many movies that greatly involved trains. I scrolled down the list until the cover art for one movie drew me in; Buster Keaton Rides Again featuring The Trainrodder. I soon realized that yes, The Trainrodder was in fact the very same movie we watched in assembly and subsequently on TV all those years ago.

My memories of the film were almost clear; it was in fact filmed in color, yet it had almost all the conventions of a silent film (a musical score and recorded sound effects, no dilogue). I remembered much of the scenery and some of the visual gags that took place on the handcar, but it was not really a pump-trolley but a track speeder; a motorized rail cart similar in dimension to a golf cart used by track-workers. Also, the scenery was not strictly rustic; there were in fact as quite a few city scenes as there were backwoods scenes. But that was actually part of the point of the film...

The Trainrodders depicts an English gentleman in London, England reading a full-page large type newspaper ad that simply states "SEE CANADA NOW!!" After jumping into the Thames, he emerges in what we gather is the eastern seashore of Canada and, upon discovering train tracks and a signpost that shows the Pacific Ocean being exactly 3,982-1/2 miles due west, he begins the long hike, but encounters a motorized trackrider. While inspecting it, he sits down to relax and accidentally kicks it into gear, taking off like a shot down the track and leaving behind a chagrined track-worker on his break.

The rest of the short film depicts his inadvertently casual journey along the tracks on what amounts to be a speed buggy/mobile home as he makes his way across the Canadian landscape, including tours of Montreal, Ottowa and Vancouver (and all apparently on one tank of gas!). As he's traveling along, he discovers that the cargo box contains just every amenity he can think of, from meals (including a tea service) to clothing and blankets and other accoutrements to make his journey rather comfortable; there's even a scene where he outfits the trackrider with tree limbs and brush to create a hunting blind as he traces a flock of geese also traveling west (the shotgun compliments of the inexhaustable supply cabinet from the trackrider). During the trip, he also has several close brushes with trains mostly going in the opposite direction, some of them on the same track as he...

I won't tell you what happens in the end, and it's not hard to see it coming, but it's still funny and punctuates the charm of this film. Buster Keaton, in one of his last films, retains the same energy ingenuity from his youth during his heyday as a silent screen star, and the beautiful landscape is prominently featured throughout. Director Gerald Potterman (Heavy Metal, animation for Yellow Submarine) sets a leisurely pace that is both engrossing and chuckle-inducing for kids and adults alike.

As I said before, watching this movie as a child in assembly made a strong impression on me, and though 45 years have passed between the making of The Railrodder and now, I would not mind taking a similar journey in the a similar conveyance if the opportunity presented itself. Of course, I'd have to have the permission of the Canadian railway authorities who helped make it all possible...

The movie was released by the National Film Board of Canada and serves as both a comedy and a travel documentary, serving both purposes well. What has always been strange to me though is that it used to be shown in school and on TV, perhaps on PBS or even WPIX in New York, but it disappeared along the way and I hadn't seen hide nor hair of it until now. Yet, it's a testament to the strength of the film's charm that I was able to track it down all these years later, still remembering certain scenes and sight gags like they were filmed yesterday. Let me know what you think... >;)

The MVPuppets Christmas Viral Spectacular

2009-12-24T01:39:00.000-05:00

I dunno if anyone's been following the latest Nike campaign with the Muppet-versions of Kobe and LeBron (last year with Kobe basking in the glory of winning the championship while LeBron looks on dispassionately was hilarious), but just when you thought they were beginning to run out of gas, they topped the ad game with these two recent holiday spots about Blitzen and the rest of Santa's reindeer challenging Kobe, LeBron and, of all people, Santa himself.

I'm looking past all of the stereotypes that these puppets project and focusing on their entertainment value and effectiveness at brand recognition. Yeah, that all works in these segments, as they did with their introduction last year. This is an idea that, as long as it doesn't pretend to stand in for the community it reflects, can pass itself off purely as entertainment and not social commentary. If Avenue Q can get away with their content without nationwide panic, then I'm willing to see this for what it is: cute puppet versions of very popular icons.

That said, here are Lebron & Kobe, voiced by Keenan Thompson and David Allen Grier respectively; also check out the vocal cameos by Lupe Fiasco as Blitzen and (guess who!) playing the Giftmaster himself (without irony, I might add)...

Bert & Ernie: Ante Up!

2009-11-13T00:04:00.000-05:00

WARNING: NOT SAFE FOR WORK!

This one is a year old, and has gotten well over 4 million hits on Youtube, but it's still blazing. I guess it takes a while for my simple mind to stop trippin' over the idea of Bert & Ernie spitting popular gangsta rhymes, but I only dignify it with this kind of attention when it's done well. Believe me, there are quite a few parodies out there of these and other characters on Sesame Street "flowing" over some well known piece of music, but few of them can match this in production value. To paraphrase the maker of this video, someone had a lot of time on his hands.

BTW, a year or two ago there was a video of Bert & Ernie singing "Drop It Like It's Hot" by Pharell Williams and Snoop Dogg, and after a few million hits that disappeared, so there's no telling how long this will last. My advice is to get it out of your system as soon as you find a safe place to watch. Tkae care!

Now what?

2009-11-07T02:45:00.000-05:00

I watched, wrapped in the shadows painted in the back of the auditorium as my closest friends poured their hearts out on the stage, kicking, dancing and singing while the sound system blared and the stage lights blazed. The practiced steps, the focused and determined gazes, their limbs responding to the rhythm, while the crowd responded in turn in a mighty roar. The house was falling, and in my delirium I wanted to fall with it. My heart leaped with every leap on and from the stage, every leap from all the feet the auditorium could barely contain.
It was over, from the moment it began. The slow, agonizing sizzle of the fuse had reached the gunpowder, and the explosion arrived. It was all I could do to hold myself together and watch what I had helped bring to life continue on it's own. Intelligent design could not explain the raw emotion that now radiated from the stage and from the seats.

And it was over. The winners, by a long shot. Redemption for what was deserved, but not given. Now there was no doubt, and the revelers would have it no other way as they held hostage to the infrastructure until the edict was decreed. They won.

I drifted from the auditorium and found myself outside, in front of the school. It was a darkness that was oddly permeated with reflective light from the snow that was also drifting, drifting down to where I stood in anticipation... wonder... confusion... and loss. I was no longer a part of the energy that radiated from the crowd, I was no longer attached to the intelligent design that created the moment. I was myself. A lonely boy dying of something natural, yet unknown. A young man who sacrificed his body and his emotions to ensure that the moment was right. Now that it was over, there was nothing left to do but wonder if there would even be a next time. I spied the empty bench in the center of the parking lot in front of the school entrance. I sat down and pondered one mystery in my life:

Mission accomplished...now what?

I had done simply what i was supposed to. I supported my friends as they trained themselves for competition; I played the box while they rehearsed. When issues developed, I handled them in a constructive manner. There were times where I stood by and watched while they practiced their steps, and there were times when I reminded them they needed to do so. Somewhere along the line I kept them from falling apart at the seams. At some point, nature tried to take me out of the picture. I was back the next day as though nothing had happened; to which I was forced to rest and recover against what I considered my better judgment. I stood underneath so I could push my friends to the top, and when they finally got there, I let go and walked away so they could have all the credit they deserved. They worked harder than anyone else to have this glorious moment, and they were the ones who should bask in the limelight of victory and accomplishment. I was content to die alone in a corner where no one would notice and I would not be a bother or burden. I cried involuntarily at the notion, but I was ready to eschew what ego I had remaining and accept the order of existence. I leaned softly to the side of the bench, awash in the drifting snow that mixed with melancholy and waited for what I felt was inevitable.

A familiar face wondered outside and approached me. It was the woman of my dreams, or so I had once hoped. I had had a crush on her for several years, but that was dashed when I first began understanding the concept of truth. The truth was she didn't want me, and nothing I could have done would change that. And though that was a painful lesson for a teenager about the real world, my response must have inspired many to think about me differently in a subtle way. She approached me and asked me what I was doing out here in the snow.

I don't know what is to become of me, I said. We've come a long way to get to this point, and now that it's over I have to go back to being me again. They earned the lights and the cheers and the praise, all I did was help them get there. This is all for them, not me. I don't know what's happening to me. I may not live to see another day, never mind another day like this. No one should have to see this or deal with this, and I'm not going to drag them all down with me. So here I am, letting them enjoy the moment while I stay out of their way. If I die now or later on, at least I've helped to accomplish something important to all of us.

She looked at me, stunned. I can't believe you can say something like that, she said. What do you mean "drag them down with you"? Do you realize how important you were and are to them? You held them together when they were falling apart, you sacrificed yourself as much as they did to win this competition and you deserve as much respect as they do. You can't do this to yourself. Look, she said, choking, you've got me crying now. You need to get back in there with everyone else and take your rightful place among everyone else, and don't you dare tell me you don't deserve it.

I looked at the tears streaming down her face and decided that she was right, or if nothing else I now felt terrible for making her cry. Maybe I was shortchanging myself. Or maybe I had taken human nature for granted. Whatever it was, I shook off the flurries and made my way back inside.

I tell you all that to tell you this... When the ball reached Robinson Cano's glove and he threw to Mark Teixeira at first, sealing the Yankees' 27th World Series Championship, I was at once awash in glory and disillusion, creating within me a strangely muted warmth that has inhabited me even to today as I write this post. I am as true a Yankee fan as one could imagine, yet for some reason I could not enjoy this moment as much as my mind said I should. Perhaps it 's my experiences within the last nine years between the last championship and this one, perhaps because of the varying experiences and context of reaction from my Banter family, perhaps because I am no longer the young boy that was waiting to die in the snow after an important moment in his life, or perhaps because I've internalized all of these emotions and experiences and have hardened myself beyond typical reactions other than a a guarded optimism or boiling frustration that erupts from a geyser.

But my reaction is relative to my earlier experience in that now, as I witness a great accomplishment and watch others celebrate, I wonder to myself, now what? What is to become of certain players, of my friends and of me?

I went to work and sat in a van all day, which is my current assignment, while some of my friends and even my supervisors participated in the parade, either as spectators or actually walking in the parade behind the floats. I witness ed their joy afterwards as they happily related their experiences, and I felt every bit glad for them to be a part of history in such a way others could only wish for. My mind rationalized this all as partly luck, partly knowing the right people, but all good. My heart said, good for you. If it were me, I'd enjoy it too, but it's not, so whatever. Yet, I have to wonder if my heart is being true; not that I would expect to be jealous or even wish it were me over them, but I do wonder why, in my entire life it seems, the anticipation of reaching this goal is much more satisfying than the actual event?

When people say you should focus on not on the destination, but the journey, I wonder if they know what it's like when they do get there. Is it anything like what I feel; an emptiness at the fact that its all over?

Someday, I hope I'll be able to enjoy the destination as much as I enjoy getting there.

Score Truck

2009-09-20T17:59:00.000-04:00

(Pictured: Score Truck w/ Hideki Matsui & Derek Jeter)

Over at Bronx Banter, Hank Waddles started a revolution by mistake. In one of his posts, he inadvertently misspelled a word while commenting on measuring the team's ability to score. Some of the eagle-eyed (and sarcastic) followers picked up on this mistake, turning the phrase "Score Truck" into a running gag for when the Yankees scored a boatload of runs in one inning; something that they seemed to have been doing a lot of since the All-Star break. Soon it evolved into a rally cry; whenever the Yankees fell behind in a game, someone would comment about hoping the Score Truck would make a delivery, and more often than not it would. It has now become a permanent member of the Bronx Banter lexicon.

Since Hank recently confirmed he is the genius who originated the Score Truck, I felt it would be nice to utilize my art skills to offer a tribute to his amazing contribution to the Banter community. Hopefully, the phrase will make it's way out of the blogsphere and into the real world; perhaps a homemade t-shirt or a banner that pops up during a YES gamecast. It would be even better if the phrase were to be uttered by one of any number of players or sportscasters during or after a game; this would be a fitting tribute to the genius that evolves from the Banter.

I do think big.

At any rate, here's my tribute to Hank Waddles' Score Truck, the latest sensation of and from Bronx banter. Oh, and if any Banter members want to clear up the story of it's origin, please feel free to leave a comment. Enjoy! >;)

Right Now, I Feel Like...

2009-09-18T03:55:00.000-04:00

Another bout with depression. I don't have the words; rather I do, but I suffer too much doubt about what the reaction would be. I'll sum it up like this: "If I don't talk about my depression with you, it's not because I don't think you care. It's simply that you and I both know you can't do anything about it."

I've talked about this before in a previous post; I live with depression because I can't afford to live anywhere else. In moments like these, I can't tell the difference between my dreams and the afterlife. When I'm awake, I wonder if I'm living in reality or experiencing a long practical joke. I question the existence of God, spirits and myself. The only thing I'm certain of during these moments is that I am depressed. In order to feel anything, I play songs with sad melodies; other types of music only make me angry at the idea that I'm ignoring or masking something important. And hey, it's easy to say "get over it" or "get help, go see a counselor." But unless you have health insurance to offer me for free, please keep those reflexes to yourself. I am a freelancer/temp worker, which means that if nothing else I have a vested interest in how President Obama manages to deal with health care reform and the public option.

Let's not kid ourselves, folks. You know people who are like me who have "issues"; who either cannot or do not deal with those issues. I fall in the cannot category simply because I cannot afford to see a counselor. Sliding scales are more like slippery slopes to me. And unless you can afford to see a counselor, there are no options. Period. You just have to learn to ride it out and try to keep the damage to a minimum. And maybe you're a friend who wants to help, but you either don't want to get involved too deeply, or you simply don't know what to do. I appreciate the thought, but again, I already know you can't help for whatever reason, so it's best not to mention it.

So, for all intents and purposes, I am not well, but I will be in a little while because like all eclipses, it's just a moment in time. Scary to look at up close, but marvelous from beginning to end. I'll start talking again when the sun shines again. Wish me the best! >;)

What's Up?

2009-09-09T11:15:00.002-04:00

Obviously, blog writing is not gonna be my be-all-to-end-all, being that what I tend to write about is generally personal and revealing; i.e. boring to most since I'm not yet a celebrity or historically important. That does not mean I'm contemplating shutting this down, as there are a few people who have loyally followed our updates, but I am thinking of making some tweaks here and there. I won't tell you what they are, but they will come. I hate being unproductive, so during my down-time professionally, I will make updates as soon as I can.

In the meantime, I will share with you that I've been seriously considering leaving the states altogether; with the economy not benefiting me professionally and personally, plus my ever-growing intolerance with stupidity and greed, and lastly with being subjected to dispiriting attitudes around and above, I'm planning on taking a soul-searching trip somewhere off-shores for a little while; perhaps Ghana or South Africa, perhaps France or Spain, perhaps Japan, or perhaps (gasp) Havana, maybe even Rio. Of course those things won't happen until I get some moolah in place, and the one dispiriting thing that is making me contemplate all this is that I've never been able to put together a whole lot of money that I can take a vacation of any sort and still meet my obligations. Hell, sometimes I can't even meet the obligations. It's not a good life here, that's for sure.

One of my buddies has been in my ear about NOT leaving, because he thinks I'm just trying to escape my problems; it'll be the same no matter where I go. I'm tired of explaining to him that going elsewhere is not to escape, but to discover; that a vacation, sabbatical or otherwise "let's get da hell outta here!" is not a retreat or admission of defeat, but a regrouping to find and put together the tools you need to overcome the obstacles to your goals. The way I see it, I have nothing to lose but my life, and that can easily happen here (NYC) just as anywhere else. But I'm looking outside the system for a chance; L.A. is no better off than NYC in terms of the economy and the foolishness, though the opportunities may still be far more abundant than in New York. I have other friends who, despite the report of a massive exodus of projects from the West Coast, are packing up and leaving here for there, simply because they can't stand it here and they are more inclined to find work there. I think I understand, and if need be I will leave everything behind to find what I need and return like a king.

But that's not the be all to end all. Hollywood is just a pit-stop. The world is where I need to go to satisfy my intellectual curiosity and my emotional well-being. That I still haven't traveled further north than Boston, further south than Atlanta or further west than San Francisco is a travesty I intend to make right. Some people never leave the city they were born in. The travesty is not in that, but the intentions not being met. I intend to travel the world and document what I see or tell stories where I go. If I can't do that, then what's the point?

To that end, I'm starting a photo album here if I can in order to document the nouns I've seen so far. I've seen a lot of things, but in my mind I see them artfully. Maybe it's not realistic, but then again what is real? My mind sees these nouns as an artist would look at a canvas; endless possibilities for a location or a painting, a sketch or a story. Even some things that appear mundane could have appeal if the setting is right; especially if you're seeing it for the very first time.

All I need is jet fuel and a way to earn it. We'll see...

August is the new May?

2009-08-12T09:22:00.010-04:00

Wanna bring a community blog to a screeching halt? Talk passionately about race! >;) Seriously though, as free as we are to say what we want, we also realize what people are willing to talk about is often not as free as what rolls around in our thoughts. Articulation with compassion or sympathy often opens doors of that nature, but then these are quite different times, so we may need a new type of can opener to realize the outcome we desire.

At any rate, I myself have had a few important things run through my mind in recent weeks, but not the impetus to document them. I've had some weird dreams about friends and relations that were odd compared to real life: did I mention that I found my ex-fiance and her family on Facebook? I hadn't spoken with her in fourteen years, but then when I saw her sister's name on a friend's comment, I looked her up and before you know it, I was in touch with the one who inspired Sillone, Ozzark's girlfriend in my comic strip. She's married now, still living in the southwest from where we left off, but by her own words matured from the days of youth. I'm truly very happy for her; she found someone who is compassionate and tending to her needs, and also in her words, "willing to put up with me and listen at 3am." Ha! I remembered the marathon conversations we used to have in our youth, so this was not a surprise at all. I think the only thing that surprised me, and not that it should have, was that from her pictures, her appearance had not changed. She was still Sillone in many ways.

The air in Texas is far better than the air in New York, I suppose. But then, I paid a far greater price than most people to be where I am, and I've got little reason to complain personally. I've given up the notion of having a wife and kids, as reasonable as those may be to most. Life is not reasonable in New York unless you're rich; tolerable if you have a steady job and ambition. All I have is ambition, but the ambition has propelled me further than anyone could imagine under the circumstances. I remember talking with various female interests about the goals in life we reach for, and invariably there was a tinge disappointment in their eyes when they remarked, "you're very ambitious." That always struck me as very funny; why would you be disappointed bty something like that? Now I know why. And though I get lonely from time to time, I would not take back my decision to pursue my dream. Such is that I was prepared to break from humanity in order to tell it on the mountain. The price is too steep for me to come back... for now.

In other news, I intend to produce and/or direct two shorts in the coming weeks; one is a spoof on the Subway commercials starring ace pitchers CC Sabathia and Johan Santana, and the other is the Ides of March scene from Julius Caesar. My producing partner and I agree that we need to exercise our talents more often; in the spring we had begun producing web shorts at a once-a-month clip, but when my uncle became sick we dropped everything to tend to him. Since his recovery, we've been slow on the uptake and we've had to struggle to find work and keep up with our individual needs, but the tide is turning once again and it's time to work again. We have a longer short in the works involving a strange trip on a household spice that will definitely be making the rounds in the festivals; I believe we will be shooting that in a month. But the two I mentioned above should work well as warm-ups to the bigger acts (if you can imagine Shakespeare being a warm-up act >;) So we have that... we also have the potential for a full-length feature that may begin production in a few months. Yes, it will be my first feature film which I hope I can direct; there are some names involved that me preclude me from directing due to union rules unless we can score a waiver (I'm guessing). Not that I would mind joining DGA at this point; benefits are benefits >;) But as is my policy on all projects, I won't talk about it until it actually happens. So, like Jesus said to the blind man when he laid his hands on his eyes, we will see.

Anything else? Hmm... I hope the others will come back and update in a little while. I'll let you know if anything new is happening. In the meantime, feel free to comment and/or contribute. Support by the way of resources and funds for our film projects would be nice as well! >;)

AlazkanTheWanted on Beauty

2009-06-25T17:49:00.004-04:00

Let me ask a simple question...Have you ever taken the time to experience the beauty in the world, in the night's sky, in the sounds of life? these are things I fear mankind has taken for granted for far too long a time. I mean, have you ever taken the time to notice a happy child smile? A thing of beauty to behold...The sound of cicadas has long since vanished from our ears and yet no one misses it; for The Ipod sounds too good...Crickets during dusk, where are they? Even the scent of the honeysuckle has escaped our senses, but yet it has gone unnoticed by the masses. Beauty is a thing to behold; truly. The sound of the merriment of others has been reduced to a nuisance...What happened? Life is no longer enjoyed by those who have it still. Mountains as far as the eye can see replaced by Condominiums, Golf Courses, and Parking Lots...Forests replaced by Processing Plants, Factories, and Testing Grounds...The Red Robin no longer sings for He is drowned out by the Sound of The Modern Mechanism, The Siren, and The Horn; even if he could sing, where He pirch? Beauty is a thing to behold, but has long since been forsaken by mankind, He who charged with a mission of Sentry to protect it. The Sun no longer shines Bright, for it has been arrested by The Smog, Wounded, and Defeated. Provisions of Nature now developed in a laboratory. When is the last time The Morning Dew was observed settling on a Ripe, Red Tomato and truly appreciated by the masses of mankind? For far too long have the Elements not been given their proper respect. A thing of beauty to be held, since forgotten. The Sunflower in all of its Glory ceases to grow, for mankind has gone to wild. Simple desires replaced by Dollar Dreams and Monumental Egocentricity. When will we learn? beauty is truly a thing to behold. The smell of barbecue...mmmmm...The Ocean in all of Her Glory has been Defiled, Raped, and Abused; Her fruits have been tainted by mankind's iniquity. Up and down, Right and Left, North and South, Advancement; these are all relative terms. Depending on perspective Advancement can be seen as digression, yet beauty Remains...Still forsaken. The Forest seeks to retreat but has not a place...Where have we gone wrong? How were we spoiled? Will our Eyes ever again witness the beauty to behold? The sound of a river's quiet current has left recollection for even she has been replaced by the cacophony of mankind's ingenuity. It knows No Bounds. Beauty forgotten but still a thing to behold...

Digital TV Transition Info - June 12, 2009

2009-06-05T20:30:00.009-04:00

So now I'm temping as a DTV Converter Box Installer, which basically means I'm going from one person's house to another and connecting their converter boxes. instructing customers on how to use the remote and advising them on what to do in case they don't have a signal. As a former satellite TV installer, this is stuff I do in my sleep, but there are plenty of people who cannot do this type of thing themselves, or are just too nervous about tech hardware to know what to hook up.

There are at least two websites that will explain the need for and the process of hooking up a digital converter box, so that you may continue to watch network channels as before:

DTV.gov - This website was set up by the FCC in order to inform the general public about the digital transition, the necessary tools and hardware to install, tell you what channels you will receive in digital, depending on what region you happen to be in, and whether or not they are broadcasting in full digital or not, plus a handy channel guide for your region. It also has pages for locating local retailers in your area and how to acquire a discount coupon towards the purchase of a converter box.

Antennaweb.org - This site will give you options on how to "maximize your television reception" by offering various types of antennas and hardware to pull in the channels stronger. They also have suggestions and an FAQ about DTV and signal amplifiers.

- Not all the stations are broadcasting at full power at the moment; for whatever reason, some stations are waiting until the June 12 transition date. If you are experiencing weak signals on some channels and not others, this might be the reason. My suggestion is to wait until June 12th and see if the station signal stengthens. If not, go to one of the sites above for discussion on digital antenna options.

- If all else fails, what can you do? There are various digital TV amplifiers and aerials of different shapes and sizes, but if you can't install or afford those? Well, you more than likely can't get a refund if you used the discount coupon issued by the FCC, so determine if the box is in working condition (try it at another person's house where you know that person is getting signal), and if the box works, I suggest gifting or selling it to someone and getting some of your money back.

Unfortunately, the box is not a perfect solution to getting free TV; people who were not getting a signal before may likely not get one now, mainly because of obstructions in your locale like tall buildings or power lines. Cable TV is offering a promotion for new customers who are being displaced by the transition, and I'll bet satellite is offering the same deal, but the drawback for satellite is that not all building structures allow for dishes to be mounted on them, and if you don't have a clear line of sight between your dish and the company's satellite, then you're out of luck.

Now, none of this is an endorsement of one over the other, it's just a lsiting oof what your options are. You could also avoid the whole TV thing by getting your news on the radio and renting movies from the library for free.

If you are in need of further information or assitance, you can also call the FCC's DTV Hotline at 1-888-CALL-FCC (225-5322) or the TTY line for the deaf/hard of hearing: 1-888-TELL-FCC (835-5322). I currently service New York State only, but if you need to scehdule an installation, I or someone in your region will be scheduled to visit and install your converter box and discuss the functions and other options. And, please feel free to publish your experience of questions here. Good luck! >;)

Depression: Temp Worker, Life Partner? - Introduction

2009-06-01T12:55:00.010-04:00

I've thought long and hard about this particular subject, because I just came out of a phenomenal funk not long ago. And because of it, I want to reveal a little more of myself as a person behind the rants, the raves, the pictures, films and even sometimes the music. I am not a celebrity, I am a real person with real person issues; not to say that celebrities are not real people, but they are people who the public perceives in a certain way for consumption, while I am an admittedly-unwilling member of that public. I suppose I will break this down into several parts in order to thoroughly analyze the roots of my own depression, and determine what's in store afterward.

There are several underlying factors into what drove (and drives) me into these funks, the like of which I have not experienced since Mom & Terry passed away nearly twelve years ago. In fact, that is one of the factors itself. My mother and my oldest sister were integral parts of my life as a child and a young man, and losing them in the manner we did and at the time of my life it occurred severely scarred me for several years; I can say it both accelerated and inhibited my development as an adult. It is an inescapable part of my heritage as much as being Black is something I was born with and will die with, except that being Black does not depress me (quite the opposite, I feel inspired!) But their passing changed me from one person into another, such was the bond I had with them and continue to have with my surviving family.

That also can be said about my relationship with my friends, which has changed with the times and circumstances; not the least reason being that my longer-term friends have married and and have started or are in the process of building their own families. I am happy for my friends who have the love and support of a "life partner", as most of them would call their husband or wife or girlfriend or boyfriend, and in most cases children to establish or continue a legacy of their own (not to mention shower with and receive unconditional love). I have neither, perhaps by choice, perhaps by nature. Such as it is, what's left unsaid, sadly, is that committed friends and non-committed friends often find themselves incompatible, and soon become former friends. It is one of life's sublime and perhaps nastier little discoveries that relationships change based on the dynamics of a person's lifestyle; most drastically if that person is married, single, divorced or widowed. I am single, a consequence of my choice to pursue a risky career as a filmmaker, where relationships are often key to building careers as opposed to building a family life (if you are a "successful" filmmaker or such in the entertainment industry, it's easier to do, but often comes after the success is reached.)

There are personal compositions to consider as well. I am anti-social; I can't/don't drink or smoke because of two congenital conditions I possess; one being epilepsy and the other Wolff-Parkinson-White (WPW) Syndrome. In my early teens, I started having grand mal seizures, the kind where you black out and convulse on the ground uncontrollably for several minutes. They were rather scary episodes where I occassionally hurt myself by falling hard on the ground; all this happening in front of friends and loved ones. What happened; not purposefully, but naturally and with good intentions, was that I was "incubated" by people who were concerned and scared about my health and well-being. As such, I felt islolated from normal activities and relationships (I was temporarily reserved from participating in Phys-Ed classes to the point where my prodigal father intervened on my behalf) and I was forced to quit any athletic ambitions I had (baseball and possibly basketball).

Since I couldn't drink or smoke, I felt very awkward in social settings where such activities were second nature, and I was certain that my friends felt likewise. I was withdrawn and moody, and though I put up a reserved front during my high school and college years, I was lonely and angry at excluding myself from being "normal".

I also may have inherited my depression from family members who experienced it themselves; Mom was never one to admit to such feelings, and if she did, she often tackled them head on with activities that involved hard work or pleasure excursions. My Uncle Woodrow (who, btw, left the hospital three weeks ago to rehabilitate in a nursing home before returning to his real home this coming Thursday) had told me that the reason he entered the adult home where he lives was because of depression; his experience there changed his life and he has become an active and well-adjusted gentleman of considerable strength, dignity and influence. But for reasons of their own, many of my other family members don't address these issues with each other, unless it's to explain certain eventys or episodes in our family's heritage. I shall not break their confidence as such, I only intend to discuss my own battles. Besides, who's to say they even had issues as dramatic as mine? That's for them to decide.

I will say that by addressing my own depression this way, I hope to conquer it for good and explain myself in what motivates the way I create, destroy or reconfigure certain aspects of my life and person. I am a devoted friend and artist, but I isolate myself from people, in my mind, for their sake. I have witnessed and/or accepted certain things that would devastate many others. My anti-social nature is bred from conflicts with myself and the nature of being part of a social fabric that would otherwise harm or kill me. I treat my friends and relationships delicately for fear that my nature would overwhelm them, yet I feel highly inadequate in their presence. I try not to hide my feelings, but the rejection stings as much as it ever has, and any reaction beside quietly moving along would be unacceptable. Perhaps this way of thinking would be considered "boxing myself in", but no one can say that without knowing where I came from and where I'm going.

Come walk with me, if you will. Maybe something you discovert about me will resolve a circumstance of your own. If nothing else, I hope you understand where I'm coming from. >;)

Another Desperate Job Scam? "Express Emergency Domestic Help Agency"

2009-05-20T10:23:00.013-04:00

As far as job scams go, this one was interesting enough for me to investigate, but laughably pathetic in reality. It just goes to show what depths people are willing to descend in order to part you from your money during this Great Recession. I would gladly take suggestions as to how legal or illegal this is, but my main intention is to enlighten and amuse.

Let me start by saying that I've been seriously underemployed for the last five or six months; as a freelance production assistant, I live by the amount of work that I actually find. So far this year, I've only found a handful of jobs in the entertainment industry, and one as a laborer. NONE of the temp agencies I am registered with have found any assignments for me, though they had in the past. I have to wonder if someone has a hex on me, but I think if that were the case I wouldn't be standing at this point. All spiritualism aside, I am a qualified office worker and laborer, and I can't find work. My roommate and I have subsisted by combining her temp income with my unemployment and infrequent gigs, but then she was laid off two weeks ago, and now we find ourselves in dire straits.

That said, I've been calling around to friends and colleagues, networking with professionals and scanning job boards on the internet. I've been doing everything I legally can to find work and earn a living wage. I would certainly have moved to another part of the country by now for work, but I can't afford to move (no money left to pay for a new place to live and all, that kinda sucks, huh?) and the few places I could actually get help from in terms of family or friends are suffering as well. If I'm just managing to get by right now, why would I move someplace where I'd be a burden on someone else?

So it's with this that I scan various websites and job boards for work. While on Craigslist (a waste of time, which I will get into soon), I found one ad that stood out mainly because of it's call for immediate action:

Jobs
Date: 2009-05-18, 9:19PM

Come down to our Job Fair Tuesday, May 19th thru Friday the 22th, we will be open all week right thru from 10am to 4pm. We have all types of Jobs and bring your resumes and all documents to (address, phone and web address redacted)

Medical Office Assistants
Data Entry Clerk
Executive Assistant
Loan Officer
Front Desk Receptionist
Mortage Banker Assistant
Administration Assistants
Accountant Administration
Customer Service
Receptionist
Internet Sales Managers
Managers
Manager Assistants
Secretary
Dental Assistants
Dental Receptionist
Bookkeeper
Fulfillment Specialist
Operations Assistants
Law Office Secretary
Home Office Assistants
Word Processing Supervisor
Medical Billing Assistant
Dispatcher
Insurance Assistants
Real Estate Assistants
Coordinator
File Clerk
Chairman
Counselor
Financial Assistants

Looking for a Office Worker for your home or small or large firms?
We have all kinds of Employees for your office Needs
If you need a office worker please contact us at (phone redacted)
For fast Placements

* Location: No Fee to Employers !!!
* Compensation: 60,000 yearly min.
* Telecommuting is ok.
* This is a part-time job.
* This is a contract job.
* This is at a non-profit organization.
* This is an internship job
* OK to highlight this job opening for persons with disabilities
* OK for recruiters to contact this job poster.
* Phone calls about this job are ok.
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

I was basically responding to the fact that 1.) they had a "where", 2.) they had a "when" and 3.) they had a contact. These three factors are important when you are looking for a job, and the manner in which it's presented is simple, yet a little beyond the usual scam posts that are too generalized to be taken seriously. So my roommate and I decided to act on this one.

We drove from the top of the Bronx to the middle of Brooklyn; Bushwick to be precise. This should have tipped me off from the get-go, as Bushwick is a lower-to-middle class neighborhood that is suffering directly from the economic downturn and the creeping gentrification that is tossing mostly minority families from their homes to parts unknown. Undaunted, we proceeded to the block on which the agency, as they called themselves, resided. We saw nothing but brick row houses on this block, but on the next block we could see a large building; a school or a church perhaps. We proceeded toward this building, but before we reached it, we arrived to our actual address:

On the sign, literally in blue scribble, we could make out the words, "Express Emergency Domestic Help Agency". There was a man standing on the sidewalk in front, beside an open moving van. It appeared to me as though he were either the lookout or the security. "Do you know anything about this agency?" I asked, to which he shook his head and mumbled, "no, I don't know what's up there." We ascended the stairs, but before we could even knock or ring the doorbell, a pretty young black woman, corporately attired, opened the door and ushered us in. Another woman, older and dressed slightly more casual, quickly brought out folding chairs into the narrow foyer before we could proceed further (which I did, catching a glimpse of the spare furnishings in the living room/"office") She was pleasant and smiling, but nervous; she spoke directly to my roommate, but only glanced nervously at me. She remarked on my roommate's attire ("You look very nice!" she whispered), but kept giving me furtive glances as we both were given forms to fill out. As we began, she stated, "Now, there is a registration fee of $40..."

Really, I chirped. "Have you ever been with an agency, she asked. In fact I have; I'm registered with several temp agencies, and none of them charge, or are supposed to charge. "That's temp," she says with a hint of smug satisfaction, "we have permanent jobs and place people for permanent work." Oh well, I replied, handing her back the blank form, and both my roommate and I left. The exchange couldn't have taken place in more than ten seconds; we left as soon as we got there.

As we walked back to the car,, we laughed at the absurdity of the situation: an "agency" in a lower middle-class residential neighborhood, with the name of the agency scribbled on white poster board, taped to the side of the house. A man standing lookout in front of the entrance, justifiably in case someone in or out of the neighborhood decides to try to rob them. A run-down home that's converted for the occasion into a sparse office (as though it could have been a no-budget film's temporary holding location) and a forty dollar registration fee up front. On top of all that, trying to justify the whole operation by saying that it's a placement service for permanent jobs. I'm not making this up, but I will make a short film out of this, I promise.

As for Craigslist, they now have serious problems. They have been overrun with scam artists, to the point that they have lost serious credibility with the legitimate public. Yet, they refuse to police their web site, probably because that would involve a lot of capital they either don't have, or are unwilling to spend. Then there's the fiduciary and legal obligation to their investors, versus their responsibility to the public. Why else would Craigslist sue the South Carolina AG unless they felt that they need not be responsible for the people who frequent their site?

I don't get mad at things like this anymore, because this whole job search process has been one of the most absurd things I've ever experienced in my life. There are not enough jobs for people here, and yet employers invite as many people as they can to apply for work, then complain about the amount of applications they receive. What's worse, there are probably an equal number of scammers who pose as employers in order to obtain your information and either steal your identity or try to force you to pay for or buy garbage you neither need nor want. All I can do is point out the phonies and help people avoid falling into their traps. In the meantime, I will keep my head up, keep building my director reel and keep looking for legit work. >;)

SCAM ALERT - THE EMPLOYMENT HOTLINE 1-800-917-1552

2009-05-15T15:50:00.009-04:00

Hey folks! Since the last scam alert has been successful in enlightening you on various types of (and one particular) job scams, not to mention causing the scam company some issues of their own (witness their pathetic attempts to counteract my warnings with bogus success stories); they have taken to hiding under a new name and number. Fortunately, armed with the new info I've given you from the last alert, you'll know what to look out for.

Whenever you see posts like these, ladies and gentlemen, flag them and/or report them to whatever publisher is posting them. Times are hard, we don't need scammers perpetuating the same garbage that has brought on the current conditions, no matter the reason they do it.

In short - The Employment Hotline is the same company as The Career Line, including the same $195 guaranteed placement fee. I wonder if anyone who has paid the fee and has not gotten a guaranteed placement in 90 days has asked for and received their money back. Hit us up with some stories, folks...

And also, if you find similar postings from this company or companies like it, then post it here and we'll repost it on a Rouges' Gallery of Scam Artists. TTFN!

See Previous Scam Alert About Same Company and What To Do To Protect Yourself.

Cuba & USA: Ending Travel Embargo, Trade Next?

2009-05-01T22:51:00.012-04:00

Cuba a four-letter word the United States often does not like to hear. In fact growing up I remember in the good old days of Television before there was Fox 5, regular Channel 5 would show repeats of “I Love Lucy” (must admit one of my favorite shows) that was the first glimpse yours truly ever heart of Cuba. Now this island being discussed in newspapers, elected officials in the senate, the congress, even the president. First time this ever happened. It’s incredible!

New York Daily News columnist Albor Ruiz reported this past April 2nd, stating:

"It took nearly 50 years. In the U.S. House/Senate have introduced legislation which would change U.S-Cuba policy and lift the embargo on the island. Democrats/Republicans have been putting together press conferences announcing the creation of the 'Freedom to Travel to Cuba Act', a bill which was introduced this past Feb 5th which would allow all Americans not just of Cuban origin to visit the island."

This comes about a time when travel restrictions were put upon former President George Bush five years which put restrictions on Cuban-Americans to visit the island once every three years. In other words visits to uncles, aunts, cousins, godmothers/fathers were outlawed. No more than 300 dollars was the limited allowed to be sent to the island, and that was mainly for immediate family! Here is a little historical background on this situation.

USA citizens are aware they cannot visit the island nation. Yet they don’t how it all got started, not aware of the history behind it. Here is a brief history.

In October of 1960 under the presidential administration of Dwight Eisenhower the U.S. imposes a partial economic embargo on Cuba that excludes food and medicine. Then in the Presidential administration of John F Kennedy on March 23, 1961 he expanded the embargo to include imports of all goods made from or containing Cuban materials, even if made in other countries. One month later the failed “Bay of Pigs Invasion April, 1961.

Later in the year, the administration prohibits travel to Cuba to add: Commercial transactions with Cuba illegal for citizens of the United States.

Here are the facts about the embargo which many have called at terrorist act:
The book “Island Under Siege” which describes the embargo which written by Pedro Prada reported, “The blockade prohibits: Exporting all U.S. goods to Cuba, including medicines and foodstuffs and importing any Cuban goods to the United States, including food and medicines. All other types of commercial activity between the two countries travel to Cuba for U.S. citizens except for official, journalistic, special professional or family purposes. Third Country ships visiting Cuba from docking in U.S. ports and finally open trade between the Cuba/USA are subsidiaries.

Now here is the thing. What would happen if the embargo was lifted: Here are three main items to look at:

1-The U.S. could export up to 400 million to grain sales in Cuba.

2-The U.S. could supply all Cuba’s fertilizer and pesticide requirements(totaling around $150 million)

3-Cuba would purchase about $90 million in U.S. medical supplies. U.S. tourism industry and cruise lines could benefit around 1 billion a year.

President Obama has been on a Latin American tour recently sitting down with Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, and this past weekend of April 17-19. With CBS news covering the event. He stated: “We’re heading in the right direction, we feel positive for good relations! Either way give this president some credit an end to this policy might create better relationships in Latin America. At the same time might lead to investigations on the terroristic activities that have occurred against Cuba, with this country involved! (That’s a future article) What’s interesting no one has heard from the hard-line Cuban elected officials in Congress, State Senators, why?

Let’s not forget Obama won the state of Florida, where Miami is and a Cuban Community that has always mainly been on the GOP side. At the sane broadcast Cuban Citizens expressed their feelings. One gentleman from Jersey City, New Jersey where there’s a Cuban Community stated: “Let’s end the embargo now, might not like the president of Cuba, but let’s have a dialogue finally.

Da Yankeeze!!!

2009-04-28T15:24:00.006-04:00

This is my tribute to the "typical" Yankee fan; the guys and girls who live, breathe, eat and... well. I intended this to be a web promo to coincide with the beginning of baseball season, but after shooting it, we had numerous scheduling and personal setbacks. I'm glad it's here now, but to be honest the setbacks only gave me more time to criticize myself for the choices we made.

The idea was based on an incident that occurred on a subway platform during the 2001 World Series. Derek Jeter had just hit his historic "Mr. November" home run to cap a beautiful comeback and I was waiting for the 6 train at 59th Street when this strange man, who resembled Rev. Jim Ignatowski from Taxi in every conceivable way, wobbled up to me and asked for change. When I told him I didn't have any, he asked me if I was following the World Series. Yeah, I watched it on the big TV at school. He crept up closer and leered at me with a glazed, yet crazed look on his face...

"...da Yankees!!!"

After a purely awkward moment of silence, he repeatedly yells GO YANKEES, GO YANKEES!! at the top of his lungs as he stalked off along the platform. I stared at him, slightly aghast and slightly amused as he pretty much went off the deep end. Unforgettable moment, obviously.

We shot this overnight in mid-March before the new Stadium opened. Surprisingly, it was rather quiet; we only had a few people come near our setup. Security didn't chase us off as I was afraid of, and the police didn't bother us at all. We were in and out of the location (Jerome Avenue under the 4 train on the east side of the new stadium) in two hours. Considering that it wasn't where we intended to shoot when I wrote it (we were supposed to shoot at an empty subway station), it turned out to be a blessing that we were able to get so close.

Our leads, Robert Youngren (Creepy Guy) and Trey Albright (Regular Guy) were a real pleasure to work with and eager to give their best. I was working with Eric Phelan, our DP, for the first time, but he brought to ACs and good guys whom I already knew (Jamal Khaldi and Irv Miller). Chris Allen returned as my AD and kept us in good working order, Kristofer Sharkey did the heavy administrative lifting and everything went down without a hitch.

What happened after that? Well, first I didn't get my dailies. They were burned on the wrong type of disk, and I couldn't see a thing. Then my DP was working on another project, so we had to wait for him to be available again. During this time, Chris tried to edit, but again became frustrated and we decided to turn the editing over to Eric for when he came back from his other project. Fortunately, Eric had already worked on a rough draft, so polishing it up would be a snap.

Then my uncle went into the hospital. With this on my hands, I postponed our next shoot and tended to him before and after his surgery, which turned out to be life-saving. Happily, he recently left the hospital and is recuperating at a nursing home doing some PT before he returns home. With that, I returned to the project with Eric and we made a polished edit, inserting the animation at the end that I created by playing around with Flash.

After some soul-searching among the producers (plus some final editing), we finally got it up on Youtube. I have to admit, I was ready to reshoot the whole thing after listening to the numerous complaints about the footage, but with Eric's skill with Final Cut, I think this makes at least a passable web promo, and something that I wouldn't mind having on the reel.

With things beginning to settle down personally, we're getting ready to shoot Part 2 of this string; a tribute to old and new Yankee Stadium and a subtle dig at our crosstown rivals. I'm hoping we can actually get some cooperation with the Yanks and the city for this one as we have a sort-of complicated set up that involves setting down some lights. Hopefully we won't have to course-correct as much as we did with this, and I can assure you'll get a belly laugh from it. By the way, if you should like to support our efforts to produce these shorts on a regular basis, send me an email with an inquiry about how you'd like to help; be it manpower, resources or even networking.

Lastly, I'd like to dedicate this and the sequel to this (coming soon) to all Yankee fans; in particular the fans at Bronx Banter. Leave comments, forward to people you know (or don't know, that's fine too) and enjoy the clip! >;)

Da Yankeeze!!!

Cast -

Trey Albright - Regular Guy
Robert Youngren - Creepy Guy

Crew -

Director - William Jackson
D.P. - Eric Phelan
A.C. - Jamal Khaldi
A.C. - Irv Miller
Assoc. Producer - Kristofer Sharkey
Producer - Chris Allen

Networking with Film/TV Industry Folk

2009-04-23T11:43:00.003-04:00

Yesterday I worked as a PA/Driver in Trenton, NJ on a reality show called "Make My Day"; a British import about watching a selected individual throughout the day as he/she experiences a set of "coincidences" that actually brighten the person's day, culminating with a nice celebration after the reveal. The show is to air on TV Land, which I had supposed to be above reality shows; but if they are into it, then this isn't a bad show to deal with. After all, it's really about making the person happy, as opposed to driving them crazy or making them sick or angry or even dumber. Actually, I was invited to apply for a competitive show myself; apparently there is a show in the works that involves pairing good and bad drivers together and having them drive through NYC on various tasks to compete for a prize. That's all I know right now; I'll let you know when I find out more.

I'm posting this article as a plea or a point, if you will, on behalf of myself and my collegues who are crew members in the film and TV industry. Most of the PAs I know and have worked with in the past have been out of work for quite some time, or have been working a few short-term gigs here and there; maybe 1 or 2 days every other week or more. The gig I just came from was for two days, and before that I worked a two-day gig in the beginning of April. Needless to say, I am very underemployed, as are many other crew folks. And yet, when I do get work and speak to people I'm meeting for the first time; say a Key PA or a coordinator, they invariably say that they have been working steadily without any breaks. How can this be, other than the fact that they are very close with key executives, and in turn hire people they are close with? I suppose there is nothing wrong with establishing a good relationship with someone who can hire you consistently, but it seems right now there are either so many people with so few jobs available, or there is a lot of job hoarding going on. Several people have told me that there's a lot of work going on right now, but how can I find it if the work is not advertised?

That's why I'm setting up a network post in this article; I will from time-to-time post ads from various sources about upcoming gigs for PAs and maybe grips, art department or camera assistants; areas I intend to branch into when I'm not writing or directing my own productions. I'll tell you that at this writing, I am in line to direct a low-budget indie film, along with a few shorts that I've written. I'm certain that the directing gig, if the project is greenlit, will solve a lot of personal diffculties I'm experiencing, and from there I may have some say in getting my collegues more work. But without getting too far ahead, I'll start by posting a few links I found as of this date.

I invite you to forward via email or post in these comments any gigs you are aware of or discover in your daily doings; I will continue posting new gigs as they come. Networking has been the best way for us to find more work; as I had stated before, most new gigs are often not advertised, and we have to rely on the good faith of coordinators or keys who either remember our work from before, or who are willing to give us a chance based on someone else's word. Let's maximize this by spreading the word about each other, c'mon and network with us! >;)

(please note, I will only post paying gigs; no non-paying or intern gigs; we do this for a living, not for experience we already have. For those who have specialized skills or technical backgrounds, I will post gigs that call for this for you as well.)

From NYC Craigslist, week of April 19-25, 2009:

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/tfr/1136249550.html - HBO Documentary Series

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/tfr/1135721515.html - Freelance Broadcast News & Web Positions

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/tfr/1133243107.html - MLB network seeking techincal assistants

http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/cwg/1135491212.html - Brooklyn Soundstage Assistant

America and Obama are lying about the Pirates in Somalia!!!!!

2009-04-12T11:54:00.002-04:00

Ok folks this is my first post on the Serious Consideration blogspot. I told Chyll Wyll I would only write about something I felt strongly about. Well, this is it. The Pirates of Somalia who fight the "Good Fight" against global tyranny and environmental terrorism. For years the Americans, and Europeans(white people) have been dumping their waste into the coastal waters of Somalia and other poor impoverished countries in Africa and around the globe without remorse or care for the results that this toxic dumping has had on the environment and the people of these lands. The other factor that mainstream media has neglected to mention is the fact that these protectors who are now dubbed pirates did not start off as such. They actually started as a volunteer Coast Guard consisting of local fisherman whose mission it was to protect the country, the environment, the people, and their very livelihoods from the poisonous dumping of radioactive and biohazardous materials into their coastal region. After exhausting all other possibilities of reason with these foreign devils they have put their feet down and said, "This is where we draw the line, enough is enough..." and started to attack those who seek leisure in their country at the expense of their environment. What did these devils think was going to happen? Do you think that you can continue to terrorize people in their own homes without consequence forever? Apparently that is not the case, a painfully obvious fact to which America and Europe and being forcefully awakened to. The fact that people around the world will no longer take their shit lying down. I say it is about time given the history of the relationship Africans have had with people of no color(white people) that someone is standing up and fighting at all cost against these regimes of terror that have plagued the continent for so long dating back to Alexander The Great and beyond. And sad enough, this is all going down and being continued under the watch of "The annointed One" Obama. This my dear readers just go to prove that despite the fact we have a blackman in the office, the legacy of "houseniggery" and "samboism" continues. Notice while on the presidential campaign he did not make statements that put his allegiance to his own people and some people; intellects who are friends gladly accepted his lack of stance as ok saying, "Well, if he makes a statement about the plight of Black people, he will never get elected..." or better yet(my personal favorite to hear from the fearful), "Well, once he gets in, he change his position and begin to do things for the other people of color[who voted for him]". To those spineless folk I say only one thing; What if Rosa was afraid of being arrested? What if Harriet Tubman decided the consequences out weighed the righteousness of her actions? What if Martin and Malcolm X were afraid that they may have to pay the ultimate price? Here we have a blackman afraid that he will not be elected or re-elected and you still voted for him and for cowardice? Those pirates are very brave and may they continue the fight to put our oppressors on their asses. And before any of you dare make the claim that my sentiment is unpatriotic, realize that mine and the history of people of color in this country has fostered a love/hate relationship that is shared universally by people of color toward this governement and shall continue until the day we are no longern bound by the "foot on the neck" policy this government has endured with dark skinned people. There are or (were) things I loved about this country and there are things i hate about it as well; which one out weighs heaviest, actually I do not know.

AlazkanTheWanted

And In Other News...

2009-04-07T09:00:00.007-04:00

Uncle Woodrow is in the hospital right now; he has a gall bladder infection and has to have surgery to remove it. I've been assured that the technique is not as invasive as say open-heart surgery, as the gall bladder is apparently not a major organ and one can remove it without major consequence. However, he's seventy-eight years old; gall stones have basically shot the thing to pieces and if it were to stay, then it would only become infected again. So, he's scheduled for for surgery some time in the next few days. I'll be looking over him for the duration, so you'll hear even less of me for the time being (hah!)

All I ask is that you keep Uncle Woodrow in your prayers this week as he deals with this. He's in good spirits to say the least, so I think he'll be all right.

Oh, and today's my birthday, Happy Birthday to me. Plus, Happy Birthday to Call Me Ismael, April 4. Peace!

UPDATE:

Uncle Woodrow had the surgery today after further tests revealed that the infected gall bladder was gangrenous and was leaking pus. The doctor actually came out and said that the procedure was "difficult" (how often do you hear a doctor with over fifteen years of specialized training say a procedure was "difficult"?), but he's a tough guy and pulled through. He's resting easy in the hospital now and will likely be there for the week while they administer fluids, antibiotics and monitor his condition.

None of this has hit me yet, honestly. One of the best birthday presents I can ever have is having helped save my uncle's life. But it won't hit me until he's home and healthy.

The Adventures of Manny Siverio: Stuntman, Martial Artist, Mambo Dancer!

2009-03-31T16:42:00.018-04:00

I sat down with Manny Siverio at a diner located near Second Ave. and 58th St. in Manhattan while he was taking a break from his latest movie project.

“The most important thing for me," he says in between sips of coffee, "is that I’m a happily married man and father!"

His wife, Addie Diaz, is a dancer and choreographer; one will see pictures of him and his wife performing in various shows. Who knows, we might see them "Dancing with the Stars"!

Manny is also a well known writer whose articles have appeared in the website for Salsa New York and has contributed to various martial arts magazines; among them Black Belt Magazine and Karate Illustrated.

==================================================================
CALL ME ISMAEL: You’re a professional stuntman, how did you get into that area of work?

MANNY: I’ve always been physically active ever since childhood. I practiced doing fight scenes and filming it with my super 8 camera when I was 12-13 years old. I still have several of these “fight scenes” which I had quickly slapped together when I was a kid. When I later moved to NY I was trying to use my martial art background to get work. I finally got my first Non-Union job as a guy getting killed by this “creature” in this B-Movie, but I think I got my first union gig because they were looking for Hispanics that could box.

======================================
CALL ME ISMAEL: Any Latin American actors/actresses you have worked with. Were you ever a stunt double for anyone well known?

MANNY: I’ve doubled various people over the years ranging from John Leguizamo, Manny Perez and Michael DeLorenzo to name a few.

======================================
CALL ME ISMAEL: Can you tell us what is the difference between a daredevil and a stunt person?

MANNY: I think the best way to think about it is that a daredevil does it for the publicity (in other words for himself) and a stunt person does what he does and rarely gets recognized for his achievements or his work. A daredevil wants to be the headliner or main event in a show, whereas a stunt person is lost in the credits of a movie. The basic idea of the stuntman is not to stand out but to blend in and be a part of the movie.

======================================
CALL ME ISMAEL: Do you ever decide what stunt to do or not to do?

MANNY: The way a stunt is done or executed is decided or put together by a stunt coordinator. I usually coordinate so you can basically say that I decide how a gag is going to happen or going to be executed. Have I turned down a gag that has been offered to me in the past? At this point in my career I can honestly say that I’ve been able to tackle everything that has been thrown my way.

But on the other hand, there are things that I really don’t have any interest in doing any more, or even want to do anymore. For example car hits, high falls, etc. I’ve been there and done that. Not to say that I won’t do them if I had to, but it wouldn’t be one things that I would list on my stuntman’s top ten list. I rather let the younger people in the business do it. I have more fun putting it together, helping decide where the cameras go and putting the action together so that it best works for the storyline in the movie.

======================================
CALL ME ISMAEL: You’ve had your share of accidents, broken bones, any serious injuries?

Over the years I’ve injured myself in an assorted number of ways for example…. sprained ankle, bruised ribs, fractured toe, dislocated knuckle, concussion, hernia, broken nose, stitches.

======================================
CALL ME ISMAEL: In doing this kind of work does your family ever get scared what you do? Do they ever tell you, “Why did you pick this kind of work?"

MANNY: During my early years my extended family (mother, father, brother, sister) never really knew what I was doing until after I had worked on a job. Things have changed somewhat over the years since I got married and started raising a family. My wife is extremely happy that I’ve moved into coordinating more than actually working in front of the camera. I still occasionally get an opportunity to play in front of the camera and have gotten somewhat injured. On one occasion I picked up several stitches after going through glass on an episode of Third Watch. And while doing the opening fire burn scene in American Gangster I got some minor “hot spots” where some skin kind of peeled off on the bridge of my nose and the back edge of my ears. Needless to say my wife wasn’t exactly too thrilled by these results. But she more or less trusts me to know what I’m doing.

======================================
CALL ME ISMAEL: You’re a Martial Artists; which art form is your specialty Karate, Kung Fu, Tae Kwon Do.

MANNY: I have a background in Tae Kwon Do, Boxing, Kick-Boxing, Kali, etc.

======================================
CALL ME ISMAEL: You both were in the hit “Latin Madness”(Great Show!) the show was put together by Latinos and the show got good reviews true?

MANNY: Its was a great show. It put together some awesome talent from the New York Mambo Community. It was both a pleasure and a honor to be a part of that show and to have shared the stage with so many talented performers. I loved the fact that we were supported in large part by the New York Hispanic community who came out to see the show in several of its limited runs. Its was a great showcase for various of the different dance companies active at the time as well for their choreographers. My wife Addie had several of her numbers featured which is a testament to her skills as a choreographer. Its a shame that the show wasn’t able to get the type of sponsorship it needed to make the move to a more permanent stage where it could be viewed by a wider audience.

======================================
CALL ME ISMAEL: Stunt man, Martial Arts, Dancer/Performer, we almost forgot your also a contributing writer to various magazines, Father/Husband. What has to be your main success?

MANNY: I would have to say that family is my greatest success. They give me the incentive to keep pushing forward. I’ve been pretty fortunate that all my hard work has paid off over the years, but it really wouldn’t be worth much without having my family there share my success with me.

======================================
CALL ME ISMAEL: If there’s stunt man/women performers hall of fame you, then get inducted what would you like to say in your acceptance speech.

MANNY: It would be the simplest thing. There would be three set of people who I would thank. First, I would thank all those people who I have worked for in the past. Since they were the ones who gave me my start and thus a career in this business. Second, I would also thank those who have spotted and watched over me when I was working in front of the camera. They were the ones safe guarding me from harm. And finally, I would thank all those who have worked for me throughout the years because without their hard work I would never have been able to develop the reputation that I have as a stunt coordinator today.

(Mr. Siviero recently coordinated stunts for a movie starring Andy Garcia that filmed in City Island in the Bronx.)

A definition of "antidisenfranchisementalism."

2009-03-25T16:50:00.004-04:00

I spoke with Chyll Will over the phone today about the subject of one of the blogs I announced here a few days ago. But I found I couldn't give him a quick 20-second pitch on it. So I instead decided to republish a short mini-column of the same title that I wrote for a newsletter I published in 2006 (at right):

--------------------------------------------

"What the heck IS this 'antidisenfranchisementalism?'"

It’s a term I made up, so don’t bother looking through your dictionary for “antidisenfranchisementalism.”

On second thought, open that dictionary and find “disenfranchise: to deprive of a legal right or privilege.”

Let me tell you a little open secret: many Black Americans feel somewhat disenfranchised by their country. In the past, this disenfranchisement was literal and actual by way of slavery and Jim Crow laws.

Now, though, our disenfranchisement exists more in our attitudes — our mental “isms” — than in reality. It manifests every time we cry “racism” and allow that as a reason for inaction such as not voting. Or when we break the law; at that moment our mental disenfranchisement becomes real — and self-inflicted. No use in crying racism then.

Therefore, this column stands against the mental “isms” that disenfranchise people of all backgrounds. There are a lot of these isms. That’s why I chose that long, long name.

--------------------------------------------------

That's the short version. Need to get it a bit shorter still. Suggestions?

Startin' my OWN blog...(s).

2009-03-23T22:58:00.003-04:00

Although I've been a member of the "auteurs" for years, I've contributed maybe three posts?

Now all of a sudden I want to start up my own blog. Or three. I know my precarious employment situation has lit something of a fire under me...I'm hoping that maybe, somehow, having a blog might lead to an extra stream of income. (But maybe I'm fooling myself. Will's sure gotten rich off his...NOT.)

Anyhow.

If I go through with this (and the wheels are in motion), look in this space for links to my trio of blogs discussing, respectively, current/hotbutton events, pop/geek culture and little plastic superheroes. The side-effect is that I'll be more active here than ever. Weird, huh?

true hip-hop stories: sadat x of brand nubian

2009-03-18T10:56:00.008-04:00

MC and producer D-Nice has clearly been keeping himself busy for the past few years. Anyone that has grown up with hip-hop during the mid-eighties to early nineties would be familiar with Boogie Down Productions, a group that D-Nice was closely affiliated with. He kicked a verse on the Stop The Violence Movement's classic single, "Self Destruction," a track that he also produced. He would go on to release two solo albums and was perhaps best known for the solo joint "Call Me D-Nice." You can also add DJ, photographer, and web designer to his list of accomplishments, putting in serious work in all of these areas since the turn of the 21st Century.

Cyberspace accolades from hip-hop fans young and old have been building with his True Hip-Hop Stories series. Each episode is a mini-documentary showcasing an MC legend sharing their personal experiences within the rap game and insight on some of the genre's revered cuts from the so-called "Golden Age". Within this series, Kwame breaks down the making of "The Rhythm," Masta Ace talks about how he ended up on the classic posse cut "The Symphony," and Monie Love exposes the back story behind her hit, "Monie In The Middle."

However, this is not just a trip down memory lane. Many of the icons captured speak their piece on today's scene and their place in it, as well as the lives they currently lead. D-Nice is capturing hip-hop history for posterity and it is rich, vibrant, and very necessary. The series gets better with each episode released. If you're new to True Hip-Hop Stories, check out the installment below with Sadat X of Brand Nubian discussing the making of "Punks Jump Up To Get Beat Down" and the unfortunate circumstances that landed him in Rikers Island for a period of time. Older, wiser, and definitely better as a result of his experiences, I personally was taken aback at the poignancy of this episode. Believe me, once you see one, you'll want to see them all...

True Hip-Hop Stories: Sadat X of Brand Nubian from D-Nice on Vimeo.

Jon Stewart + Jim Cramer = Oodles & Oodles of Ohs!

2009-03-17T23:45:00.006-04:00

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Jim Cramer Unedited Interview Pt. 1

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things w/ Demetri Martin

Political Humor
Jim Cramer

WARNING: NOT SAFE FOR WORK!

Hmm... I'll let this speak for itself. I can't think of anything to add to this except that there's absolutely no way that we don't hold much of the media accountable for this crap, as much as they want to hold the average middle-class citizen accountable for not only their houses being foreclosed on and their jobs disappearing into thin air, but also for financing the clearly undeserved bonuses of corporate executives who eagerly await their share of TARP funds.

But Stewart also makes an excellent point; it's not fair to blame one person in particular, as it may seem he's doing. If anything, we should all take the self-proclaimed experts to task for not reporting what they obviously knew. I had a felling too, but who's gonna believe me? But you'll believe a TV personality with experience in the markets, and he was among many who either dropped the ball, or hid it in the cellar. The same can go clearly to another area of the media that is clearly spurring a witch hunt against certain individuals to mask their own irrepsonisbilities (cough-cough-steroids-cough)... Breathe in, breathe out. Enjoy >;)

Obama's course on stem cells is dogmatic.

2009-03-09T22:44:00.004-04:00

Creating yet another setback for the right-to-life crowd (and another personal disappointment with his presidency), President Obama lifted President Bush's executive restrictions on embryonic stem cell research Monday. Obama's staff says the move is guided by science instead of political ideology.

That's not true. Not entirely.

If stem cell research were truly motivated by science, more funds and resources would be funneled toward adult stem cell research -- stem cells that can be harvested harmlessly -- instead of embryonic cells, which destroy the days-old embryo. Adult cells have been proven many times over to be useful in treating some diseases.

In contrast, embryonic cells are largely unproven. There are great assumptions that these cell lines might lead to cures for debilitating diseases such as Parkinson's disease, or restoration of functions for paraplegics such as the late Christopher Reeve. However, that's all they are -- assumptions.

In fact, one very recent published study shows that embryonic cells might prove a titanic health hazard rather than a healer (here's a hopefully working link to the study: http://medicine.plosjournals.org/perlserv/?request=get-document&doi=10.1371%2Fjournal.pmed.1000029). Embryonic cells injected into a young male neuromuscular disease patient were found to have created several tumors in his spinal cord and brain four years later.

Indeed, this shouldn't come as a great surprise, since animal research on embryonic cells have also shown that the injected cells often go out of control. Let me rephrase all that plainly: the SCIENCE shows that embryonic cells are risky. Yet the Obama administration claims to be motivated BY science to pursue cures.

Obama advisers say that they're reversing the previous administration's adherence to dogma. They've got it half-right; this new president is instituting a reversal. Unfortunately, he's merely replaced one dogma for another: where Bush was following a dogma that regarded, at least to some degree, embryos as life to be protected and not harvested for ever-dimming hopes of miracle cures, Obama seems to be beholden to the pro-choice dogma that regards an unwanted, pre-born child as expendable.

It's a position no less dogmatic but far more destructive. Is it worth creating and disposing of millions of very young humans to try -- and, if the early research is any clue, likely fail -- to cure these diseases? ...Especially since they appear to have just as much potential to CREATE new diseases.

When one considers that some of these discarded kids may have been destined to truly discover safe and effective cures to the same diseases we may be vainly slaughtering them to find...well, it's a bitter irony. And one we really ought not be tasting.

Mitchum Man - The Spec Commercial

2009-03-05T22:12:00.009-05:00

For those who hate to read director's notes; especially a first-time director's notes, please skip to the credits at the end of this post >;)

So, I directed my first piece for distribution outside of college, a semi-parody of recent Mitchum deodorant ads playing on the phrase, "You're A Mitchum Man!" The concept was created by my producing partner, Chris Allen, who says something similar to this happened to him, and he wrote the concept two years ago intending to direct it himself. When he told me about it, I wrote up a quick treatment and pitched it back to him, he loved it and we set about pulling the resources together to make it happen.

Chris had his buddy and right-hand man, Kristofer Sharkey, do a lot of heavy lifting while he called just about everyone on the planet to either participate or donate what they could. One of our lead actors, David Smith, provided the home as our shooting location, and whipped up a great meal for our cast and crew; he also found other members of the cast and crew in Connectdadots where we shot the spec, for which he earned a Producer credit as well.

Our last bit of business was locking in a DP; after a very last minute change, we signed on the talented Ms. Alexa Mignon Harris, with whom I established a great set repoire and I hope to continue to work with on more projects in the near future.

The shoot was absolutely what I expected it to be; Chris Allen is a fantastic AD as well as a producer, Alexa exceeded my high expectations, Sharkey was a rock and a great confidant; our Hair & makeup team of Sharon Smith and Bethany Little did fabulous work on our actors, and David plus his co-star Sherese Reddick looked special on camera.

Me? Well, I had fun. Chris said that there was a moment in between takes when I looked over at him, grinned and nodded my head, as if to say, "This is what I've always wanted to do." To him, I looked as natural as one could be, as though I had been doing this directing thing for a long time. Although I don't remember the instance, he hit the nail right on the head.

The ride home, well, that was not so fun. Our NY contingent consisting of me, Chris, Alexa and Sharkey (who's really from Bayonne, NJ) hit the rode at dusk, embarking from somewhere between Bridgeport and New Haven, back to Brooklyn, Manhattan and the good ol' BX. It began to rain hard while we were on the New England Thruway, and I was so tired I almost nodded off while driving at least 60 mph to keep up the pace of traffic. When we crossed the border into the Bronx, I took the first exit I saw and drove straight to a gas station to load up. I'm not a coffee drinker, but I told them I needed to put something in my system.

There was dead silence for a moment. "Coffee," said Chris, "really? You??"

Well, whatever. When I came back out, I had a large steamy cup in my right hand. "We were laughing about you wanting coffee," Chris taunted me, "I said when we pulled over; 'watch, I know he's gonna want some coffee."

"Well, I knew I needed to get something in my system before we ran off the road or something, " I replied, "but I really hate to disappoint you; I got tea instead."

But as arduous as driving through hard rain from the middle of nowhere when you're dead tired was, it was nothing compared to the beast that was editing. Chris fancied himself a fairly sharp editor, having downloaded and teaching himslef how to use Avid Express Pro on his laptop. So after digitizing our footage, we began to assemble the storyline and do the editing thing. Here, both Chris and I learned a couple of key points:

- You have to have an extreme amount of patience to be a good editor. Chris, between tweaking clips and effects, fighting and learning the program some more and listening to me either change my mind several times or ask him to do something he didn't already know how to do, decided midway through that he would never edit anything we shot again. As far as he's concerned, he's strictly a producer. I wouldn't say he did a bad job, but I had a strong issue with timing each clip properly while we were cutting this. Thankfully, it never came to blows and I doubt the average viewer will nitpick.

- Editing is the time when a director realizes how difficient and vulnerable he/she really is. There's a reason why the Oscars give away a Best Editor statue, yet it's often to the director's detriment. Good editors will often say, "if you don't notice the editing, you did a really good job." Truly, if you look at some of those fine films that have won the Oscar in the past, more often than not it's because of the engaging story and performances, which is to say you didn't notice the cuts, cutaways or other editing effects that make the whole movie seamless. But if it wasn't for that unnoticable transition from one shot to the next, the movie would look like something someone did in their backyard, and the director would likely look like a fraud.

Fortunately for us, we had zero budget when when we made this (that is, only a few hundred dollars at most was spent toward producing this spec), so if it looks fraudulent, that's okay; we're not going for Oscars just yet.

Lastly, I'd like to give a big hug of appreciation to our own Macedonia for his contribution; he allowed us to use a segment of his podcast, Radio BSOTS, which is heard in the background during the action before the product shot. I felt it was important to have an ambient sound to fill the background during the scene, and what ends up doing the that task actually adds to the humor of the piece. I find often that coincidence and Macedonia have gone hand in firmly hand throughout the lifetime that we've been friends, and the timing of the dialogue in the background sound and the action on the screen was another happy accident...

Okay, so I'm obviously overexcited and over analyzing a simple spec. But hey, it's my first of many, so gimme that. Let me know what you think >;)

Mitchum Man - Spec Commercial

Starring

David Smith ...... Boyfriend
Sherese Reddick ...... Girlfriend

A Broken Chain Production

Chris Allen ..... Producer, A.D., Editor
David Smith ..... Producer
Kristofer Sharkey ..... Associate Producer
Alexa Mignon Harris ..... Director of Photography
Sharon Smith ..... Hair Stylist
Bethany Little ..... Make-Up Artist
Will Jackson ..... Director

Music Contributed by Jason R. Smith for Radio BSOTS

Happy Anniversary Ozzark & Company

2009-03-03T11:11:00.011-05:00

It's that time of year again, with birthdays and annual markings of being a year older. Today marks the 27th anniversary of the creation of my comic strip, Ozzark & Company, which I created in 1982 when I was a wee lad. I last explained Ozzark's origination and how I developed him and the others into a coherent cartoon series; I used to literally manufacture comic books with my drawings in them and send them around to publishers. If those publishers were still around, I'd send them a note reminding them about it, but that would probably end up in the bin as well.

This time I want to talk about the future of Ozzark & Company. As many of you have noticed, I haven't drawn any new strips in a while, though I do draw doodles and sketches to keep myself practiced (a couple of which are inserted, not to mention a lost strip from the site I designed at Golden Lotus Magazine). I've been very busy with writing and film making; I'm debuting a spec commercial I directed any day now (my producer says tonight, we'll see!), but the main reason I haven't drawn the strip is because of where I live (and whom I live with). As most of you know by now, I live in a basement apartment below a loud family of ig'nant folk whom I would not mind if they were to just up and leave, like some past residents have done. I also have a very unstable roommate situation; all of which represents a complete and unwelcome distraction from the stable, quiet environment I develop my artwork in.

I've often found it impossible to draw under these circumstances, so I'm planning to build a studio space from the office I will eventually have as my films start to come together. When that happens, I can guarantee you will see Ozzark & Company on a weekly (if not more) basis.

As it is in the Ozzark universe, Ozzark & Sillone will be moving in together, but I will not reveal how or why. The rest of the gang are still up to their crazy antics; Rhalo, Zane and Tone have formed a band with a few other folk, Mikey becomes a spoken word artist and writer, Aquil tries out for pro football. Tradge tries to stay a step ahead of prevailing technology and Fats... well, Fats is Fats, and continues to be the foil to Ozzark's well-laid out plans. Meanwhile, Mrs. Tee-Jay and Junior continue to make cameo appearances, Sis visits from her Rhodes Scholar studies in Europe and Ouncey mysteriously hides in his room, buried in study...

The thing with Ouncey... I've developed an alternate universe for him and a different time line, where he is a roving mercenary-type on a mission to reunite his lost family in a world that is nearing apocalypse (as opposed to a post-apocalypse world these type of characters often find themselves in). With the world falling apart, Ouncey also finds himself developing mystic powers the same way others go through puberty, yet it's his studies that have helped him to survive as the world around him dissolves into anarchy. Hopefully I can find a way to not echo so much of the stuff that's already out there...

So, that's that. Ozzark & Company lives on, with good intentions and plans I intend to keep. Who knows, the way things go, you might see these guys on a television screen in the relatively near future. Time will tell, but thanks for continuing to support. >;)

Flip The Script (Someone Saved My Life Tonight)

2009-03-02T14:23:00.009-05:00

Until a little while ago, I would have swore that the only way you could understand this is if you had been through what I’d been through.

I was in her bedroom; actually standing in the bathroom, looking in the mirror. This is where they had found them both. The window had been cracked, as though someone had tried to punch their way out. But now everything appeared, as it was the day before. Mom stood by the bedside in the middle of the room.

I burst out in uncontrollable tears. She rushed by my side and cradled me in her arms.

“I understand,” she said, rocking me in her arms as I sobbed uncontrollably. I looked up and now I was sitting on the curb of a street that ran in front of the school I was attending when everything happened. I looked into the sky and saw a line of clouds, all in the shape of train cars, from the steam engine to the caboose. Mom stood over me, beside me.

“I’ve got to go now,” she said. I looked up again at the train-shaped clouds as they became more defined and heavenly. “You’ll be okay.”

I woke up from that dream some eleven years ago. I looked in the mirror the other day; my cheeks were worn and tired, where scraggly black and gray sprout from the sides of my face, my chin, my neck. My hair is filled with gray and falling out. My dark eyes reflect the vestiges of youth that told a different story a decade ago. There is a man now, yet with the same thoughts from before. I think about how this used to be her day; actually it was their day. I wonder if Mom was still standing beside me, would my hair be so gray at this time of life? Would I have known what mistakes not to make along the way?

And yet...

The other day I sent a message to Aqua Boogie, asking her to think of me in her prayers as I wrestled with the fact that their day was approaching and they were no longer here. She replied:

"I know it's tough, but just know that they are your guardian angels now. They are always around you and taking care of you... I really do believe that once our physical life is over, it's the beginning of our true soul life."

How did she know? I think she chose to be there with me. I look back at the eleven years since I last saw them, and I've endured much chaos and hardship, but I survived, got on my feet and embarked on a career in entertainment. Now, I'm about to take a huge step in my journey by premiering my first directorial project; a spec commercial to debut on YouTube in short time. This is what I set out to do when I came to New York, and this is what I'm about to do. And throughout that time, A Boogie has been my friend, the one who can flip the script with her thoughts. And she reminded that Mom & Terry had been doing the same, and continue to do so all my life.

There is no off-switch for love, for pain or for guilt. But if I didn't have Mom & Terry to watch over me, and A Boogie to remind me, what's the point? I love all of you; thanks for being here. Happy Birthday, Mom & Terry!

Holy Weekend

2009-02-13T12:11:00.006-05:00

Just another note, which I alluded to from my post about Uncle Woodrow's birthday, I want to say Happy Birthday today to my sister Dorothy, Happy Anniversary (February 14) to her and her husband Michael, and Happy Birthday (February 15) to the very same Michael. What does that mean? They conspired with a higher power above to create a unique three-day celebration, which they dubbed Holy Week. Since it falls on a weekend this year, it naturally becomes Holy Weekend (the excuse of all excuses!!!)

Isn't it so romantic? Being married on the ultimate day of romance, which happens to take place between two lovers' birthdays? Yeah, I'm kinda queasy too, but hey... I'd probably try to do the same around Easter if Aqua Boogie's birthday were two days from mine >;)

SCAM ALERT: (800) 921-4557 - The Career Hotline on Craigslist

2009-02-13T10:33:00.011-05:00

I'm re-posting this from a thread I put up on the NY Craigslist Jobs Forum as a warning to job seekers:

"There are several postings floating around Craigslist in New York offering Warehouse and Engineering jobs starting at $20-30/hr or $40-$60 thousand a year. The short post lists the usual offerings for perm jobs (benefits, blah-blah-blah) and offers an 800 number to call.

When you call the number, you get a short speech; a female voice introducing the company as The Career Hotline, offering their services as a job service where you're guaranteed placement in one of the many jobs they have. You are told that you must be available to work immediately within the next two weeks, followed by being informed that there is a guaranteed placement fee of $195.

The voice then offers the option of pressing '1' to speak with a representative, but immediately following that announcement, the line you have called attempts to transfer you to another line. I hung up before being connected and searched for references to this company.

Apparently the number 800-921-4557 pops up in ads around the country; in Chicago, Indianapolis and even Aurora, CO; offering the same exact thing.

I searched the Better Business Bureau, but they had nothing. I searched the 800notes database, but again nothing. I then came across a page from the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) which essentially confirmed my suspicion. This is definitely a scam. Outside of the obvious that a company cannot guarantee that you will be hired for anything, the fact that you have to pay an up-front fee (likely over the phone) should raise anyone's hackles immediately. But worse, the attempt to switch you to another line would likely have dropped you onto a 900 pay-per-call or pay-per-minute line without your knowledge, which is illegal.

So bottom line, if you see a job listing with 800-921-4557 listed in it, don't waste your time. If you call any number and here a recorded voice introducing The Career Hotline or a similar name, hang up immediately. Luckily I had the wherewithal to avoid this scam, but others might not be so lucky, so pass it around.

The FTC's page on identifying and avoiding scams like this can be found at this page:

http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/edu/pubs/consumer/products/pro22.shtm

Good luck! "

The thing that gets me is how many of these scams have become more prevalent during this economic crisis. It's bad enough so many people are down on their luck and out of work, maybe just getting by or hanging on by a string. If you're a job seeker or someone who is legitimately seeking work and trying to get by, you might get caught up in something like this fairly easily, and then BOOM, you're out of money and on your behind while someone else gets rich for nothing. These are the pocket Bernie Madoffs; the ones that play the shell game with a smile on their face and a song in their heart, while their accomplice picks your pocket. If we should be outraged about anything (and I'm really not outraged by what I talked about on the last post anymore), it should be by this.

Craigslist had a fine business model that has affected print publications like newspapers in major ways (remember the yellow LOOT newspapers? Look where they are now!), but I would argue that the business model is suffering because there's little to no oversight from the company that posts or publishes this crap. Self moderation in Craigslist has often bred laziness, scams and disrepute from people who go there regularly or not-any-more. Craigslist has even been on the news lately for published posts that turned out to be middling-to-deadly scams and ripoffs, or people selling drugs using coded dialogue. You would think that the company executives that oversee Craigslist and other sites and publications like it would take a more proactive approach to monitoring this kind of crap, but the thing is that they obviously see this as a turnkey operation that can fix itself with minimal oversight; anything more would jeopardize the feel-free relationship they have with customers, posters and site viewers. While Craigslist is not total anarchy, the lack of oversight has fostered a community of maligners, disreputable business practices and disrespect to potential customers who are trying to transact business or make contact with others about jobs, items or even relationships. You might be better off by just avoiding the site altogether, as others have posted expressed similar experiences and observations.

What would I recommend? Hire mediators, PT or FT, who would verify the info on the posts for veracity and contacts. They could screen illegal transactions and warn away scam artists. If nothing else, it would create jobs for people who needed one, and it would help right the ship so that Craigslist can once again be a reputable and respectable site to do business or meet people again (if it ever was before). Some (not total) oversight and responsibility on the company's side is better than total domination from one side or another.

Until then, I'll likely stick with Amazon and Ebay... >;)

Nothing

2009-02-07T16:18:00.007-05:00

And as if to complement my previous post, here is a report in SI.com that tells us that urine samples taken in the 2003 baseball season show that Alex Rodriguez used steroids. This from unnamed sources, of course, because we all know we wouldn't want to be caught dead with my name on a reports that shows that I also leaked proprietary information to the public, no matter what the ethical question may be. That's all beside the point.

What it says to me is that there is nothing worth being honorable about or for anymore. The tanking economy has pretty much taken care of that. But there has been little to no honor among anyone for years in sports, in public or private life, in anything that involves our capitalist part of the world. I am only beginning to accept that, I suppose. Maybe not, given what I wrote to my friend Alex Belth:

"I'm so tied up in knots for no reason, or perhaps there is reason for me to be angry. I might as well just give up following sports altogether; I already gave up following college sports and there's really nothing left except to play in rec leagues. I am not surprised or hurt by A-Rodman and woman for his or herself, like everyone's fighting over scraps; reporters, coaches, athletes, owners, everyone. I'm angry that my love of the game is being obscured and stomped on by such menial and disingenuous arguments over honor, when such honor has not existed in years.

And if I had kids, what could I say? Play fair and you'll be poor, but honorable to the fans who remember not to boo you for not being as good as the cheaters? And then, my roommate chides me for getting mad, saying that we live in a capitalist society and that it's set up this way so that the only way you can be successful is to do something dirty. Well, what's the point of an education? Why can't we just banish ethics and legalize narcotics and guns? Every man for himself, right?

Let kids just drop out of school whenever they feel like, because ultimately they will learn to be successful by following the criminals with the most money, and then when they get into a position of power they can decriminalize the very acts that made them rich and powerful. Why lie? Just put it all out in the open and say what you're doing is for money, not for any good of the game or for the people. Screw people, it's every man and woman for themselves. It's a farce, isn't it? Why don't I start selling drugs and stop complaining about not getting those opportunities I've been working hard for? It works for a lot of others, why not me?

Have I hindered myself with ethics, did I buy into a great lie that says I should work hard and stay on the straight and narrow? I don't get it, and that's why I'm where I am, I guess."

Am I wrong for feeling this way? I must be naive, but what difference does it make? I've been hanging on by a thread since I came to the City, and now a whole lot more people are joining me and saying that the rules don't apply anymore. I'm heartbroken over having to choose over being an honorable fool or a well-off bastard. If I had gone along with what was expected of me by most, I wouldn't even be thinking about this. I'd either be dead, in jail, or living a lavish life in a penthouse in the most expensive city in the country.

Well, tough.

The Kind of Film Gigs You Often Find On Craigslist

2009-02-07T00:21:00.007-05:00

I know this was a gag, but I had to repost this entry from the NY Craigslist Crew Gigs section here before it was flagged (props to whomever posted this):

Feature Film needs DP/SteadyCam op and 1st ac (Midtown West)

Reply to: (redacted)
Date: 2009-02-06, (time redacted)

Festival Feature entitled: "Sign of the Times"

DP needed who owns an HD or 35mm camera, grip truck with gas, lighting, crane and generator (also with gas). There is no pay and you must feed yourself daily, but if you want to stay home and just let us use your stuff, that'd be fine too. Must have 10 years experience, references, reel and major award for cinematography. You will not be involved in color timing. If we can shoot in your house too, that would also be great. IMDB credit only offered.

We are also desperate for a super experienced Steadicam operator with "A" list credits and top of the line gear that we won't pay for. This should include a preston system, super post and gyros for a one-shot scene lasting for 8-9 minutes where you will ascend 4 levels of stairs backward, duck through a window, get on a crane, step off and then run full sprint. No pay offered, but we have a PA who might rub your shoulders if he's not busy being a human sand bag. If you own a sand bag, please bring it. Some water and Fresca provided.

We will also need an experienced AC to be a one-man camera support team, pulling focus, slating, loading, setting up camera, marking actors and doing time cards - No pay, but you still need to do time cards. More importantly, you need to be technical experts at pulling focus on Steadicam, working with remote heads as well as picking up and returning the gear in your own car.

Since gas and mileage are not provided, a pass van can shuttle crew for a reasonable fee. Red vines and Fresca provided.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay

You don't have to be in the industry to know how much of a joke this is, but the thing about it is that on Craigslist, there are a lot of postings that are similar in spirit or vein; the posters seriously believe that they can post an advertisement seeking people who are not only willing to sacrifice time, labor and equipment for a film that may or may not be even seen in a festival, but would also gladly seek the chance to "network" with future A-listers. Then there are the ones who have supposedly won an award or two, or "worked" with known actors and/or key set people and sell the opportunity as a chance to step up the career ladder; so long as you're willing to trade earning a living for a chance to bask in their afterglow. Many crew people in the industry have a word for people like this: scum.

Mind you, there are two sides to every coin; producers working on a low or no-budget must try to extrapolate whatever funds they have over many areas that require payment up front (equipment, stock, expendendables, transport, etc.) and crew pay is almost always the first thing that is trimmed to meet all these expenses. Sometimes crew pay is deferred as long as possible in order to cover post-production expenditures; the footage has to be put together after all, or the production was a waste of everyone's time. Then, depending on who the target audience is, the film has to be distributed (easier for commercials since these are mostly funded by and created for ad agencies, harder for pilots, shorts and features) and marketed. Plus, producers frequently have to work throughout the production process on a scale that minimizes their pay; they are often paid a commission for the money they bring into the project, and any back-end deals are predicated on how successfully the project is in making a profit; on low-budget films, this might take years, if ever.

However, from a crew person's point of view, he or she is living from project-to-project and must pay bills that cannot wait for the success of the film (rent, utilities, food, transpo, etc.) ; when opportunities to work are low paying, not paying or deferred beyond reason, it puts the crewperson at risk. It is especially risky and harmful when there are slow periods such as now, when filmmaking is either on hiatus and commercials are made on a limited basis, thus raising the competition to high levels along with the stress of unemployment. Ultimately, one has to choose whether to stay focused on a career in which thay have invested so much time and money acquiring skills to perform their functions well, yet has fewer opportunities available to utilize those skills and earn a living, or to chuck all of that in order to survive; ultimately it's an either/or situation because neither affords time for the individual to do the other on a balanced or even supplementary basis. Is that reasonable?

In my case, I am a production assistant; in general a utility crew person that supports various departments (mainly the Assistant Director on set, and the Production Coordinator in the office) and though not necessarily a tech-savvy or management-oriented position (and therefore lower-paying), there are opportunities to "move up" into these responsibilities via training and likely by the good will of key personnel willing to offer the chance. The thing is, that's becoming less and less likely in a failing economy, and with many producers looking to scale back costs within the guidelines of union rules that protect tech-specialized crew positions, PAs are especially susceptible to attrition and (often) abuse. I have experienced increasing incidents of "deferments", and I've heard stories of productions simply not paying PAs the agreed amount due after the jobs were done. Often this occurs with producers from out-of-town or even out-of-country who simply skip town and refuse to return calls, and often there is little recourse for PA's to recoup their pay and/or losses resulting from such action, simply because PAs in New York and other regions outside of California in the US do not have a formal union to support them in such cases.

The Director's Guild of America (DGA) may get involved if the project is sanctioned by the Screen Actor's Guild or if guild members are involved, or if other union members involved in the project from other departments agree to file complaints on their behalf. But in no-budget projects, the chances that union members are even on the set are slim to none, and our only recourse is to pursue civil action in court, which of course is cost-prohibitive for most PAs.

Arguments were made in support of both producers and crew members in Great Britain in discussing the costs of low-budget productions and how to maintain them reasonably. The argument presented in this article, a must-read if you want to understand the dynamics responsible for this rant, apply in America (particularly on New York sets). I see it both ways as well; as a PA, writer and aspiring director I know the reasons for the need of specialized crew positions firsthand, as well as the thinning opportunities for eager newbies. As a potential producer, I also know the need to minimize costs in light of the by-definition underfunding of low-budget films and the need to balance quality with flexibility to produce, distribute, promote and exhibit projects. There is a need for the industry to seriously address self-destructive issues on both sides (management and labor), and this article leads to valid points on both sides.

As for me, I'm trying hard to get by. I can't step too far outside of the industry for work, because if I do, I will quickly lose out on future work and opportunities to move up. But, having worked for a while in this industry, potential employers often exploit the "lack of experience" in other fields, thus making finding permanent work economically and fundamentally unfulfilling and worse, making your previous experience a sadly futile waste of time, energy and major resources. At this point, I have to succeed at what I started. I'll let you know when my first directing project is up for viewing (soon!)

Like I've Been There Forever

2009-02-04T23:06:00.007-05:00

Somewhere in this world, there is a man who says that he's a failure for not sustaining a brilliant effort that has spawned even more brilliance within itself. He should not feel this way. Not at all. Because he should take a good look at where that brilliance has gone and what it has fostered on it's own. He should be proud of what has become of the persons, places and things that can trace themselves back to his efforts. He should enjoy the shade of the tree that generated from what he planted, or tended to in his own domain.

I owe so much to Bronx Banter for being here and sharing my idiocy with you, but I owe a tremendous amount of thanks to Ken Arneson, founder of Baseball Toaster. His design of the umbrella site for some of the best baseball blog writing in cyberspace captured my attention, and his guidance within helped to shape my attitudes in space itself. It is a place where you feel like you've been there forever.

I told my friend Alex Belth about how bad I felt about this, "like when you leave home and come back later and it's gone." I've come very close to visiting my old neighborhood in Wappingers Falls, going as far as within a minute drive of turning up the familiar road to my old address. But something always turns me back, and I think of what Uncle Woodrow says:

"Don't ever go back; in your mind, home is still there and in your reality, it always will be. "

Happy Birthday, Ken, and Happy Retirement. Hope we'll see you grace cyberspace again soon.

Shadow Games: Life Away From Here

2009-01-16T18:33:00.009-05:00

Dear Todd,

Hey, it's me. I know we don't know each other that well; as a matter of fact, we don't know each other at all, except for what we read from each other. I often wrote comments on your posts whenever your turn was up at Bronx Banter; usually silly and joking in nature, but hey, the way you wrote compelled me to write back. See, everyone has a quality that draws people to them, whether they realize it or not. Yours, to me, is compassion. You introduced us to many characters from your daily walk in this life that no one would have given a second thought to otherwise, lending a spark to bring their experiences to life for us. That's nothing to scoff at, believe me. A lot of people try and even more don't, but you succeed.

Yunnow, when Alex Belth was ready to debut the new Bronx Banter, among the things he shared with me was his excitement about you coming aboard. You could actually read the giddiness in the note, which was interesting because I think Alex is a superior writer, and for him to be excited about another writer joining the Banter was a fine endorsement (even if I had never heard of you before! >;) But yeah, he was right about you. The quality that you have that draws people to your work worked PDQ.

I think what it was for me was whenever you talked about riding the 2 train. You see, I live near the 2 train, and your observations about it were usually the same as mine; especially about Mark James, the homeless man. If I recall, you liked what I had to say about that. Well, I think everyone has the Common Man aspect, and some people have a unique way of touching base with that element. I could learn a little something from you about that.

It's no small thing to lend your energy to someone else so that they can be seen and heard. But what's even harder is to remain unseen yourself in the process, and I could tell you had a very good sense of modesty. I thought to myself how cool it would be to bump into you on the 2 train one day, neither of us having any indication of who the other, but somehow realizing who you were by just remembering the things you talked about, related or even championed. There'd be a knowing look followed by a pound and a wide-ranging conversation about how funny life is.

Or maybe not. I'm actually pretty quiet in "real life", my life away from here. Seems like the best writers are the ones who can't stand people on principle, but I doubt you're like that. No one who observed the things you did could be bothered by people that much. Irony comes in many forms... and I never liked this particular form. I know you'll have something intersting to say about that when I do see you on the 2.

Take Care and God Bless,
Chyll Will

Todd Drew, creator of the blog Yankees For Justice and regular contributor to Bronx Banter, passed away after a brief illness. To know more about Todd and why we have so much respect for him, go to the following:

Bronx Banter - Tributes (I compiled a short tribute list of songs I thought of at the time)
Bronx Banter - Shadow Games (A compilation of his posts at BB)
Lo-Hud Yankee Beat Blog (Tribute by Pete Abraham)
Yankees For Justice

Happy Birthday, Uncle Woodrow!

2009-01-14T20:37:00.005-05:00

This man means the world to us. Period. That's my youngest sister on the left; since I'm the baby of the family, she is Lord of Me. (It's always been that way, so I don't mind so much.) Her birthday is next month, so I'll get to her later. But Ah! the stories Uncle Woodrow tells and the passion for politics he has. Did I mention that he is the President of the Coalition for the Institutionalized, Aged & Disabled (CIAD)? He's also an accomplished artist (woodwork) and a tireless advocate for seniors and the handicapped.

Uncle Woodrow had polio as a child during the Great Depression (he met President Franklin D. Roosevelt at his retreat for stricken children in Warm Springs), but after several operations he was able to walk for many years before the ages started to take their toll. I gave him a Cherokee-carved cane two years ago for his birthday, which he has hanging on his wall by the door ("It's just too nice to walk with!" ) There's really not enough I can say about him here, so I hope to co-write a book with him based on his experiences and his almost Twain-like observations.

Much of my chyll I owe to him, because ever since I became a man on my own, he has helped guide me through the highs and lows of local life. Many people respect, even adore him, and I'm always amazed at how quickly and easily he not only puts people at ease, but also gives them something to think about. You'll think, "wow, the guy is the coolest guy I've ever met!" Well, I'll let you make up your own mind about that over the coming days...

I love you, Uncle Woodrow. Stick around for a while, and "don't be a stranger", eh? >;)

To The Section 8 Hillbillies Who Live Upstairs...

2009-01-08T23:09:00.007-05:00

You are too noisy. You are loud, obnoxious slobs who are accelerating the depreciation of this shared, yes SHARED establishment. The only thing worse than the house exploding or just falling apart around our ears is you living here. You have a hearing problem: you only hear what you want to hear, and that's a problem. The landlord told you. The neighbors told you. Hell, even the dog told you. So how about a nice warm cup of STFU and a U-Haul to carry it to your new hole in the wall (as illustrated above), where you can be you and the world can be safe from your perpetual state of "Duh"... and take the cock-a-roaches you brought into this world with you as well. I mean c'mon, we can hear the whole town of Amityville chanting from here; it must be for you. Have you figured out yet why the mailman keeps leaving flaming paper bags at your door? I should warn you that Paramount Pictures is sending their lawyers after you; the way you all walk across the bare floor upstairs reminds everyone of the movie "Elephant Walk". But I won't warn you about that, I'll let them drive you out like Thelma & Louise. Bottom line, you helped heroically in the effort to give Section 8 recipients a bad name. I know you are not proud people; just stupid, so I will put this in as simple terms as you might be able to understand:

Get... the hell.. out. Now. Go away. Live in your own world somewhere else. Good-bye. Go.

P.S.: The illustration is a suggestion of sorts. Don't take too long to figure it out...

(I am accepting all donations of leftover change you don't care about in our ongoing effort to move away from these, umm... people. Everyone deserves to have a home and live in comfort, and I in no way intend to disparage Section 8 recipients, just the brain damaged farm animals who live upstairs. I figure since this will likely go over their heads like clouds on a windy day, it's better if I take my own advice and high-tail it to a less-intense part of the tri-state area. For details, leave a message and I'll get back to you at my earliest convenience (i.e. I set up an email and P.O. box) That way, everyone's happy! Now, bedtime... >;)

The Gift of Insight

2008-12-25T11:34:00.007-05:00

As I was traipsing through the web trying to figure out how to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, I came across this picture and thought of the implications of it. A Black Santa, after all, can go two ways. But when I read the article that this picture accompanies, I realized that there was a lot more to the picture in itself, and the article goes a long way to inspire readers to look further into the subject of discussion. I hope you take the time to read the whole article, not necessarily today if you want to celebrate, but at some point you should read it, and I hope you may wish to read further.

I will say this; the section the picture refers to reminds me of a school project I and a classmate worked on for one of the school's administrators at DCC. He had a sizable collection of "black memorabilia"; items, relics and antiques relating to the images that prevailed about black people in America in the early 20th century. He was displaying some of them in an exhibit in the art department's gallery, and we were assigned to make a video of the exhibit. We shot some footage and I composed some music collages to accompany the images. He liked the end result well enough, but our teacher was somewhat disappointed. In retrospect, I understand his disappointment because the video did not include interviews or explanations of the articles on exhibit, but I also remember that we had very little time to put a much deeper program together. Sadly, this footage has not survived, but if I were to do this again, I promise it will be quite an interesting documentary.

All together now, "Merry Christmas!!!" (and Free Jolly Jenkins! >;)

Sporting Rants (because I sometimes talk about sports then start ranting instead...)

2008-12-20T13:44:00.009-05:00

I was originally going to post this as a comment at Bronx Banter, who some of you know is a Yankee-centric fan site I often habituate (if I may so indescreetly use the term), but then I realized, "Hey, this is another one of my long rants that decidedly go off-road, so I better put it somewhere where no one will feel compelled to actually read it..." Well, if you've gotten this far, I strongly suggest that you continue...(click-click!)

Not too much being said about Toyota and Audi (happily?) stepping in for General Motors, who chose to stick with the Mets in cutting back on sponsorship deals. Were the Yankees asking for more and GM decided they couldn't afford it? Does this make more sense for the Yanks? And how do the local media, who trumpeted the split, feel about it? Personally, I have no brand preference beyond performance, so though I own a Ford Explorer, I'd much prefer a Toyota Highlander. (More on this: GM and the Mets are in negotiations for an extension of sponsorships, and while they have cut loose six major league teams, they are reviewing all of their deals in light of their nearing bakruptcy and all...)

Also, JetBlue becomes JetRed (essentially) as they partner with the Red Sox as their official airline and on some deal with Fenway Park. From what I've heard lately about JetBlue, it's no better for the Red Sox, so good luck with that.

Should Derek Lowe and his ilk be surprised that their sticker prices are being viewed as a little too high for even contending teams? They may have been steady producers, but are they in their prime? The market is busting for prime players, not producers with a long history (unlike, say, the movies)... Manny, for example, may have hurt himself immensely by playing the agent's game of opting out so late in the game for a bigger contract during an economic crisis, never mind forcing his way out of town in the manner that he did. But is Manny a bigger fool if he doesn't get what he thought he would, or Scott Boras (doubt it) for advising him to do so? No, the biggest fool is whoever signs Manny for three or more years.

Then, there's the whole thing with Furcal. I looked over by our old friends at Dodger Thoughts, and most have opted for the shrugged-shouldered "well..." response in regard to Furcal's agents backing out on Atlanta. I would like to think that the Braves were justified in their indignation if it weren't for the fact that:

A. Frank Wren could not close the deal on a trade for Jake Peavy.
B. Frank Wren could not close the deal on signing A.J. Burnett (despite the howling and warnings of many Yankee fans and media types alike).
C. Frank Wren traded Mark Texeiria when it looked like they were out of the pennant race instead of locking up a potential free agent star, then canceled himself out of this year's sweepstakes early. (Perhaps not a fact, but an observation)

That's a lot of bad luck for a seasoned GM taking over for a well-seasoned GM who usually makes deals like this with his eyes closed. And with the economy going the way it is, I don't know any "good" agent who isn't going to make sure his client doesn't get as much as he can from exactly where he wants to be. I don't agree with what Furcal's agents have supposedly done, but one shouldn't be surprised that it happened, and the real loser is Frank Wren for not doing due diligence by his team by meeting with Furcal in person, like some GMs would have. If he'd done everything possible to sign Furcal, even knocking on his door with a term sheet and literally shook hands and THEN they backed out, I'd have a little more sympathy for their plight.
Some say David Wells did the same thing when he signed with the Yanks the second time after meeting with George over cheeseburgers after he said he was about to sign elsewhere, but whereas George and Wells actually got together and literally broke bread, Furcal's agents supposedly took the offer back to the Dodgers because Furcal wanted to stay there and be a shortstop. Dirty pool, but not unwarranted considering THEY were doing due diligence by their client.

After that, I start getting a little mean, so I'll shut up for now...

Btw, I wanted to add a shout-out to former MLB pitcher Dock Ellis, who was once quoted as saying that he wouldn't start against Oakland's Vida Blue in the All-Star Game because Major League Baseball would never start "two soul brothers'' against each other. That being the 70's and all, and much of the 70's flew over my head as I was but a little child, I wonder how that was received by the baseball fans at that time. I likely would have shook my head in agreement, but I also have to think, "does he mean soul-brother because they're black, or soul-brother because they both did so much drugs?" I dunno, I was just a kid, born in midst or end of their prime, so I have a lot of catching up to do.

Nevertheless, I do remember Dock Ellis being sort of a low-level folk hero among my sports-fan family members, so there's incentive to catch up. Diane Firstman at Bronx Banter makes a good point that it's a shame where you have a sport that has blown up so much economically on the backs of its former players, (glamorous or not I might add) that you have a former player like Dock Ellis who didn't even have health insurance and had to rely on the good will of his friends. Really, it is, and speaks volumes on the priorities of a country experiencing major economic downturns rivaling the Great Depression that insists on first bailing out the very businesses that helped cause the problems instead of the people who were victimized by their decisions.

After that, I get a little mean, so I'll shut up now... >;)

(Thanks again to Diane Firstman at Bronx Banter, who inspired much of this rant with her News of the Day column which I read semi-religiously. Also acknowledgments to nomas-nyc.com for the Dock Ellis illustration by James Blagden)

Sock & Awe! New Viral Game by PopJam

2008-12-16T23:48:00.006-05:00

Recent events have brought to bear an outpouring of... um, expression, if you will. This game (from the folks at PopJam) is just a reminder of how cool the internet can still be when you have time on your hands, an imagination, a little bit of initiative and at least a firm annoyance with the administration of the 43rd President of the U.S.... Enjoy! >;)

(So far, my roommate has the top score in the SC network with a score of 7. Beat that! >;)

A Home Girl Does Good!

2008-12-14T21:17:00.009-05:00

Noemi Figueroa Soulet; Producer, Director, Writer of THE BORINQUENEERS!

The Borinqueneers is a powerful documentary about the all-Puerto Rican 65 Infantry Regiment who participated in the Korean War. This is a chapter in Puerto Rican History no one often talks about, as the press release states: “Their toughest fight was not on the battlefield! What does that mean; just see this documentary!" The film nationally premiered on PBS this past August. Noemi and the f elm crew spent nearly 9 years producing the film for no salary. As she stated: “Our goal was to tell the story of these unique soldiers from their previously unheard point of view. The research we did was viewing military records, personal collections and dozens of oral histories. We identified our interview subjects and went to work."

This past November 7, the documentary was shown at the Wechsler Theater, the same building which is the home of “El Museo Del Barrio.’

Noemi gave CALL ME ISMAEL five minutes of her time to talk about the documentary.

CALL ME ISMAEL-“You’re a home-girl from the neighborhood. True?

NOEMI-“Yes! I was born in Puerto Rico but grew up in East Harlem. I used to live on 103rd Street, then on 117 Street, and lastly on 123 street-all on the East Side. My fondest memories are of going to the Cosmo Theater on weekends which was on 116 street between Lexington/Third Avenue. I would go see Spanish films from the Golden Era of Mexican films starring Pedro Infante, Cantinflas, Etc and going to La Marqueta on Park Avenue to shop. I still smell the odors from that market of spices and fish!

CALL ME ISMAEL -Showing this film to the people who grew up with you in the neighborhood. How did you feel?

NOEMI-“Coming back to my roots is a wonderful feeling. If I can inspire others from the old neighborhood to work hard to make their dreams come true, then that’s great!

CALL ME ISMAEL-Ken Burns! Are you critical of his new documentary which does not show any Latinos?

NOEMI-“The segment that I saw of the Ken Burns series “The War” did have some interviews of Latino veterans. But I do think that overall not enough of our Latinos stories have been told. That is the main reason I produced “The Borinqueneers” because noting had been visually documented in a feature-length format of this famous unit the 65 Infantry Regiment and I thought it was long overdue.”

CALL ME ISMAEL-In hearing some of the things these individuals went through was there ever any emotion from the crew.

NOEMI-“Some of the crew I hired did not even speak Spanish so they did not understand what the veterans were saying but, or course, you could hear the emotion in the voices of the veterans and know that something emotional was happening to them. For the crew that did not understand Spanish. I am sure they were moved by the interviews but, as professionals, they could not disrupt the interviews.”

CALL ME ISMAEL-You state that it’s about time we look out for ourselves when doing documentaries which profile us. What did you mean by that?

NOEMI-“Well I feel if others will not tell our stories then it’s our responsibility to tell our own stories-from our own unique perspective!

CALL ME ISMAEL-The documentary has been getting good feedback. True?

NOEMI-“We have received an overwhelmingly positive response from everyone who has seen the film. Puerto Ricans and non-Puerto Ricans, civilians, military, 65 veterans, and their continental officers! It really has made a powerful impact for many and we receive many, many, letters and phone calls from people thanking us for making the film.”

CALL ME ISMAEL- How much was the whole budget for the movie?

NOEMI-It is really hard to determine the exact budget because I spent nine years of my life working on this for no salary. We made four versions of the film. English/Spanish feature-length versions and English/Spanish one hour versions for PBS. There were many people who either gave us discounts or volunteered their time. So how much money was raised and actual worth of the films are two different things.”

CALL ME ISMAEL-Finally a three part question! Has Hollywood seen the film, do you see this documentary being a featured film, any Latino Actor past/present that you like to be casted.

NOEMI-“I think the story of the 65 Infantry Regiment has great potential to be a wonderful feature film. Some future prospects exist but there is nothing definite yet. The film was aired in Los Angeles, California but I don’t know how many people saw it who could make a film happen. Of course we have some wonderful actors who would be perfect to play Borinqueneers! Benicio Del Toro, John Leguizamo, Esai Morales, Jimmy Smits and many others. Let’s see what the future holds. Meantime, everyone can enjoy the documentary and visit our website at www.borinqueneers.com for more information on the film.

By the way you can also purchase a copy of the documentary at “El Museo Del Barrio” located at 104 street and Fifth Avenue.

ROTFLMAO @ SWPL

2008-12-12T16:40:00.009-05:00

There is a site (there is a site),
a certain site (a certain site),
a certain site you read it might
have you roll on the floor,
This certain site (this certain site)
with little might (with little might)
and with some irony
you'll all be banging down it's door,
You'll like this site (you'll like this site)
or maybe not (or maybe not)
I'm sure some people think
the makers should be found and shot,
But you'll agree (we hope you do)
as you shall see (go on and look!)
so click or ping the website,

dot commmmmmm...

Mm-hmm. Thanks to Nikki (my niece) for the link, and apologies to Herman J. Mankiewicz and Orson Welles for the satire. But as the title implies, the principle of this site is brilliant. Be it irony, offensive, trifling or just plain silly, don't be surprised if you hear something about it on the late-night talk shows. Shout out to the creator/s!

...ommmmmmmm... >;)

fallout in the aftermath of the Obamenon...

2008-12-02T17:24:00.006-05:00

perhaps this will be a long diatribe. perhaps will be something considerably less masturbatory. for my own sanity's sake, perhaps this should be something that finds the halfway point between the two.

it was just last night that will and i were talking about getting distance from election day 2008 in order to write about it with a clear head. we were joking about writing in such a way that it sounded like "i woke up, i voted, i went to work, i went home." basically, we both didn't want to make a big production number out of it.

will was over election day even before it arrived. like myself, he had grown tired of the election season and just wanted it to be over. as for myself, i was too busy thinking about the work that lied ahead of us to be overly jubilant about the election day outcome.

but something happened this morning that has caused me to finally write something for the site. if you have a facebook account, you've seen these little add-ons to your page where you can become supporters of artists, groups, or people you admire. last night, i become a supporter of michelle obama. one of my high school friends commented:

“that sort of took you a minute, really...”

something inside of me snapped after that. this was my response…

“GOD FORGIVE ME. i just saw this yesterday, so i added myself. sorry for not getting there 185,569 supporters earlier. i come here to build with people, not to find numerous things to support and superpokes to enact and whatever other bells and freakin' whistles to add to my page. to be real honest with you, i'm more happy to see michelle as 1st lady than i am about barack being president. that's why i added myself.

since this forces me to go into it, my vote was not an obama nor a mccain vote. it was a green party vote, the cynthia mckinney/rosa clemente ticket, to be precise. yes, i saw something on election day that i hadn't seen before and yes, i was in awe. and on some level, i was happy to see so many people happy, not just black people. at the same time, i will not allow myself to say 'yes, we did.' it implies that voting was all we had to do and now our part is done. and that is far from the case.

and beyond that, just exactly WHY was i supposed to show said support earlier? just because i'm black doesn't mean that obama support is automatically programmed into my dna and my melanin. members of the democratic party didn't show up in my 'hood with a negrocentric neural implant and a 'barack the vote' bar code to stamp on the back of my neck. one would think that i wouldn't have to explain this to people, but apparently i do.

(note to self: do not check facebook comments in the morning before you go to work...)”

"sheesh, i was sort of being whimsical there...." my friend replied about two hours later, only to counter with the following:

"note to you: remember to take this whole facebook thing with a proverbial grain of salt and try not to offend friends (offense taken)."

i suppose that's what i get for responding to such comments before nine in the morning. not for nothing, but "whimsical" is a place for two-year olds, peter pan and maybe michael jackson. i can understand it when my two-year old daughter's being whimsical. it becomes increasingly unnecessary and straight up annoying when grown-ass people do the same. life ain't a tim burton movie and your name ain't edward f**king scissorhands. and although i turned 35 the day after election day, i mentally feel twice that old, which means that i probably have no business being on a site like facebook. the grain of salt i should take things with i often treat like sand in the vaseline, because that's just me.

i've been accused by best friends, my wife, and plenty of other people that i overthink things too much. yeah well, for every person that overthinks things, there are at least 10,000 that don't think enough, if at all, so i suppose we all have some shortcomings to work on. but let me reel the anger in, because i make it sound like i'm unrepentent about all this, and that's not true. i threw out verbal daggers, somebody took offense to it and the power of Christ compelled me to make things right. so even though i stood by viewpoints, they admittedly could've been handled with more tact and i apologized for that. i closed the issue with the following thought:

"now everyone hug, make like post-racial muppets and sing "Obamahna" to the tune of "Mahna Mahna" and go about our business..."

remember mccain's concession speech and the torrent of boos from the crowd just from mentioning obama's name? remember him trying to quell the crowd in that same calm manner that he uses whenever he says, "my friends..."? did you notice a slight twinge in his voice and mannerisms at that moment that seemed to suggest that he really wished the booing throng would just shut the hell up, as if they had clearly done enough damage to his presidential run already?

remember jesse jackson's tears? ever stop to think that maybe, just maybe, his tears didn't necessarily translate into happiness for obama? let's be real: his tears could've meant a number of different things, either "that should've been me" or "i really wish martin was here" or "i really wish i hadn't talked about cutting barack's balls off in front of a live microphone."

and remember barack obama walking out onto the stage to a cheering crowd of thousands? of course you do. now please note that i said "walking" and not "floating" or "hovering." he does not walk on water. he does not have the cure for AIDS. and his win did not move us into a post-racial america. (and if you think i'm just pouring out haterade, you might want to have this conversation with the black muslim brother on staten island that got his ass beat by four white men on election day, just after barack was named our president elect.) to treat obama as some sort of cure-all or worse yet a messiah figure is setting the brother up to fail: he is a HUMAN BEING, prone to make mistakes, miss the mark, and not always get it right. may GOD protect him and the first family, but the sooner that this sits well with black america (and obama supporters of all backgrounds), the better off we'll all be.

okay, so...long diatribe. what do you want from me? just be thankful that this wasn't written before nine in the morning...i probably would've gotten this site shut down by lunchtime...

"Keep Practicing, Kiddo!"

2008-11-30T21:39:00.003-05:00

That's what Lucy told Schroeder as he was playing Beethoven on his "toy" piano before kissing him (to his eternal annoyance) and wandering off. Schroeder, after regrouping, calmly launched into one of the best musical moments in animated history.

(Though the clip begins way before the moment, it leads into it around the 5:00 mark and includes the movement in the movie.)

Just felt like sharing. There are certainly other musical animated moments that compare favorably to this, but this was a cathartic moment for our child prodigy and for millions of fans who suffered silently alongside good ol' Charlie Brown. Maybe I'll start listing my favorite moments, but if you have any suggestions, feel free to comment... >;)

This Little Guy

2008-11-11T13:58:00.003-05:00

I was walking home from the doctor's this afternoon and I turned down one of the back streets towards my house, when...

"Mew!"

I'd seen him/her? him, when I was on my way to the doctor's, only he was perched on the step of a house that was itself perched on a small, but steep hill. Now he was on the street with me, lampin' as it was. I said, "Hey there, you!" and he decided to stroll over and chat (which, all things considered, is natural for le chat). As I also happened to be carrying three grocery bags full of food, he was a bit curious. "Whatcha got in the bag, dad?" he leaned his head inside and purred kittenly. "Oh nuthin', just thought I'd cook dinner tonight instead of goging out for Burger King," I said, lifting the bag slightly off the ground so that he hung in mid-air. "Ain't nuthin' like cookin' fur yurself," he continued, "it's much better for yer system. It won't drag ya down or leave ya hangin'..."

A dour woman walked past us quickly, and I lowered the bag so he wouldn't get stepped on. When she passed, he hung his head inside the bag again, I lifted him and the bag off the ground and we continued.

"You're such a nice kitty. I don't usually see you guys so interested in what I have to say, usually you look at me like I'm gonna eat you or ask you for money." I softly twirled the nape of his neck as he purred contentedly.

"Well, I don't know much about that, but then agin', I don't know much aboutanythin' since I just got here myself only a little while ago," he replied, eyeballing the London broil.

"You're in for a real treat, then. Seems you came at the right moment. We're in the throughs of history as we speak, or so I'm told."

"Yeah? Well don't that beat all. What's it about?"

"Well, this cat was just elected President, and he's the first man of his particular type to be so honored in such a way. What's more important is that in doing so, he's given a whole lot of people a lift, in that now they can dream a little bigger and mean it, if they want to."

"Is that right? A cat as President?"

"Well, yes and no..."

"Well, whutevah that means, I hope he's as cool as this cucumber ya got in here. Hey, what's that..."

I lifted him out of the bag just as a much larger cat tracked our ever step from above; from what I could tell this was obviously Mommy.

"Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me!" she looked at me somewhat nervously. I handed kitten to a somewhat bemused Mommy and politely excused myself. As I crossed the street, I looked back, and junior was trying to follow me.

"Hey, stay there! Stay with Mommy!"

"Well, all I wanted tuh say was good-bye, it was nice talkin' with ya, mistuh..."

I smiled and walked down the sloping road towards my house. Halfway down, I stopped. Damn, I forgot to take a picture! I raced back up the sloping road to where I left the two of them together.

They were already gone.

Out Of Order

2008-11-05T23:45:00.005-05:00

I know what you're looking for, an article about my reaction to Obama's election. Well ya gets none... yet. I'm working on putting together a bigger piece with all my fellow posters and a few of you guys and gals to present varied perspectives of our initial reaction, and there you'll find my long-winded analysis (if not my own, certainly Macedonia and Call Me Ismael should have a lot to say)...

No, this is just to let you know I'm sick again with a recurring theme of abscess-removal (this time in a more visible location, thus I'm hiding out in my apartment until the healing process has run it's course. I honestly don't know what's causing them; it could be that my apartment is crowded and my roommate has made it even more crowded with the addition of pet guinea pigs, it could be that said guinea pigs were caught frolicking on my bed and the chief offender was unrepentant until threatened with immediate eviction and bodily harm (not necessarily in that order), it could be that I came off a very stressful assignment with Celebrity Apprentice 2 (bad crew people, bad show, bad etc.), it could be that I find PAing wholly unfulfilling, abusive and a poor source of income (so I have to advance quickly in film production or die trying), or it could be good ol' fashioned stress.

Whatever the case may be, a lot of factors have to change soon if I'm to break this nasty little cycle. I'm thinking leave NYC quick, fast and in a hurry, but then what? Cali's much worse off than NYC, believe it or not. So I continue in my recovery and eventual return to the hectic pace of production, with a good notion that I may be practicing my directorial chops very soon. As usual, I'll keep you informed >;)

a CTW moment: -tion, -tion, -tion, -tion...

2008-10-09T17:21:00.003-04:00

for those who are wondering , CTW stands for Children's Television Workshop. i consider myself a child of CTW and proud of it. i had been thinking about sharing some CTW moments captured for posterity on youtube and figured, yeah, why not?

the first is courtesy of The Electric Company. Sesame Street will always have a special place in my heart, but TEC is my absolute favorite. so much so that i realized i can remember a box set's worth of skits and songs that didn't make it into the first two DVD volumes. that's kinda frightening. at any rate, i reckon if this were the official going green campaign song, everybody would be recycling. file under "environmentally funky"...

On The Road Again: Celebrity Apprentice 2

2008-10-05T10:32:00.004-04:00

Guess I'm gonna be driving around in circles in Midtown Manhattan again; ducking, dodging, bumping and rubbing my way through pedestrians ignoring traffic lights and taxi sudden-stops and cutoffs in the middle of six-lane boulevards as Celebrity Apprentice rears its head for a second (technically eighth) time. This is my second go-around with this show; I did learn more about NYC driving than at any other point in my life, not to mention knowing traffic patterns and stupid behavior by drivers and pedestrians alike. If anything, it shows that this show is located in the right place.

Last season, I drove around photographer Tommy Baynard and company as they shot photo of the proceedings throughout. Tommy's a great guy to hang around with; laid back and generous, with a beautiful young family. The pictures he took were the ones you saw in the papers the next day while the show was broadcasting. Too bad he won't be back this year. I hoped that I would be able to work with him this year, as he promised I would be able to work more closely with him as he found out I was interested in photography myself. Oh well.

I signed up hoping I would get to drive nights this time (so much easier to drive NYC at nights), but alas I'm stuck on day shift again; I'm one of their better and more presentable drivers, I guess.

After this, I'm hoping to sign up with a traveling show so I can work outside the city for the winter. My film partner insists that he'll need me on-set when we go into production for any of our developing projects, but then he's got a six-month gig taking him out of town, so hey. I'm finishing a short screenplay about a crack mother and her drama today, then I'm diving into some shot footage to assemble a story line from. So, as the money starts trickling in, I'm staying busy for the next month. If anything tickles or ticks me off, I'll let you know; stay tuned! >;)

Moving On...

2008-09-30T13:54:00.004-04:00

It's time to elevate to the next level, as far as my film career is concerned. I'm still writing (as soon as one of the scripts or treatments gets picked up for production, I'm joining WGA) and still aspiring to direct (working on the money aspect to greenlight these projects), but as for the every day get-money gigs, I'm really, really, REALLY tired of PAing. In New York, at any rate. Lately, perhaps because of the latest twists and turns in the economy, or maybe because they are self-serving bastards, the production companies have been taking longer and longer to pay their crews after production is wrapped. That's fine if you're a working DP (Director of Photography), a Gaffer, a Key Grip or such who gets paid a lot of dough that they can put aside and live on for months, but if you are a PA, that's hand-to-mouth money. Such as it is, a PA can't wait three weeks to a month to get a measly pittance. It creates hardships that are less forgiving because you make less than others. And because PAs have no union to back them up, they are at the mercy of the production company, which as I've mentioned have been taking their sweet-old time about paying the crew lately.

No, it's not cool. So other than securing a shotgun or greenlighting your own productions, you have to move up and out of the position, at least to ensure that you get a better rate and more protection with the unions behind you. So what's next up from PA? I can go in a few directions, but I'm choosing the one from the picture because it's quicker and easier to learn than the others. Not to say I want to continue going up in this direction, but it's a new vine that gets me closer to my objectives.

Can you guess what I'm gonna do next? >;)

A Democracy Deferred?

2008-09-20T11:42:00.006-04:00

Here is where I'm likely about to lose readers, loyal or otherwise. If you cannot ascertain the fundamental gist of what I shall say, then good riddance.

There is a poll that suggests that Democratic candidate Barak Obama will come close to winning the election... but only close. It suggests that he will likely fail. It suggests that he will likely fail because of one thing. It suggests that beyond all of the evidence that suggests itself that he is the most likely candidate to effect change in a society that needs it, he will fail because said society will not change one crucial apsect of itself.

That aspect is racism. Pure, uncut, unashamed? Passive, apologetic, prejudicial hybrid? You tell me.

I heard on a program on MSNBC a term I had never heard until now: grievance politics. Grievance politics is a new code phrase that suggests that a person or party that complains in public or a political forum that their rights are alienated are inasmuch practicing an unfair and hypocritical form of fascism; one that reverses the tyranny and hardships that this person or party that suffers on those who are only "guilty by association" of fascist, tyrannical and hateful behavior of their own. That is to say, "by gaining the upper hand, you would instead become the villain and inflict racism upon the innocent; those who are only guilty of being descended from the unenlightened, why should you blame us for our fathers' sins?" In grievance politics, Malcolm X is evil because he returned the hatred that was first inflicted on his people by Eugene "Bull" Connor. In such politics, Martin Luther King would be in lock step with Governor George Wallace for his supposed passive-aggressive views on racism. Jesse Jackson is a hatemonger for his comments about Jews in New York and Al Sharpton is despicable for race-baiting that dates back further than Tawana Brawley.

But here is a man, Columbia and Harvard-educated (magna cum laude) and representing the honor and hopes of a democratic theory without trumpeting the fact that he is descended from two races that "ostensibly" are polar opposites of one another, and this poll suggests he will fail in his mission, simply because he is defined by half of his race; a race that is considered by many in passing, declaration or in silence as inferior and dangerous. Already there is editorial rhetoric about how history will come to vindicate George W. Bush for the many ignorant and evil decisions and costly indulgences that have come to nearly destroy this country and perhaps the world; saying that "he made the country safe." But what will history say about a country that failed it's fundamental principles of equality and justice when it could not consider the possible election of a non-white candidate, not based on flawed policy or theories of his or her own, but because of prejudice towards his race?

What does this ultimately say to non-whites? That no matter how hard you try to appease, succeed or grow beyond such ignorance, there will clearly be a majority of the voting population that will never trust you, never allow you to form policy that will alter or govern their lives and decisions, never allow you to compete or strive to embody the principles they themselves hold dear. Level playing field? After a defeat based on this idea that this poll suggests, you will never be allowed on the playing field again.

All the apologies, all of the reassurances, all of the explanations and promises, all of the "wait a little longers" and "wait 'til next years" will rightfully fall on deaf ears. There will be no explanations that justify why a majority of our nation continue to ignorantly fear the brightest, strongest and most honorable of our ranks, to explain how those who played by the rules are still remanded to the sidelines. Those who by all standards possible have achieved the highest of plateaus are torn from their stanchions and flung to the cabin floors, to await the repercussions of daring to dream, daring to work and daring to achieve beyond their assigned station inside a nation that loudly proclaims it's disdain for divisions. If what this poll suggests should come to be the deciding factor on a competition of principles, then the Constitution should be dissolved and the nation torn asunder and thrown to its creditors abound. History? History will only talk of the overwhelming failure of human nature to abide by words that do not exist: humanity, civility, democracy and freedom.

Understand this: this is not a threat to those that disagree, but a threat to the principles that all men are created equal, that freedom is an inalienable right and that democracy is worth fighting for. Democracy cannot exist where there is not freedom for all. Slavery continues to bound those who cannot see and think on their own. So yes, I don't like it. But I will not leave until those who tell me to do so leave from where I would go. Shall we continue to fool each other and ourselves about what defines the United States of America? To paraphrase someone who knew quite along time ago, "remember, remember the fourth of November."

Milk Is Killin', China's Illin'...

2008-09-19T22:38:00.005-04:00

I like milk. But I'm glad we don't import it from this place.

With all of the corruption and perhaps ineptitude coming from this area lately (leading to massive casualties there and around the globe), why can't we just say no? Is it worth saving a buck or two when the person you're trying to sell your product to is dead or dying?

While we're at it, how about reigning in some of that outsourcing, huh?

Snoopy Goes Home: Bill Melendez

2008-09-03T20:29:00.012-04:00

Bill Melendez, multi-award winning animator, and the "voice" of Snoopy, died today in Santa Monica, CA at age 91.

Melendez, a great-grandfather 11 times over, was the chief animator for Charles Schultz's "Peanuts" productions, and was the only animator permitted by Schultz to work with the characters. He was known well for his handlebar mustache, as well as the grunts, groans and guffaws that underlined Snoopy's pantomimic actions on screen. Before that, he was an animator for Walt Disney, working on several classic Disney movies and shorts like "Pinocchio", "Fantasia", "Dumbo" and "Bambi" among many others. We also worked for Warner Brothers, doing animation for many of the Merrie Melodies and Loony Toons characters. After leaving Warner Brothers, he developed a prodigious portfolio of commercials and films for several production companies; one of which brought him on to animate several car commercials involving the Peanuts characters.

Several years later, Melendez and Schultz teamed up with producer Lee Mendelson to create "A Charlie Brown Christmas," which in the initial opinion to all was a collosal failure. "Oh my God, we killed it," moaned Melendez to his staff. Even the network executives were down on the final results. But serendipedy favored the luckless trio as the network executives were forced, because of time constrainsts, to release the movie as scheduled. The rest was history.

A few thoughts stand out in my mind... one is of Melendez with Peter Robbins, the original voice of Charlie Brown, talking about the recording process and how he had to instruct the children how to inflect moods and tones in their voice acting. Because he spoke with a heavy Spanish accent, Robbins said, he often repeated what Melendez said verbatim... including the accent. "And he even copied that!" Melendez laughed.

Another thought is of the animation style that Melendez employed for Peanuts; static backgrounds and simplistic line variations, but easily identifiable with it's source material. Melendez used colors and shadows in a way that made the world of children seem bright and inviting, or foreboding in the mind's eye of a child. Comically underwhelming, yet artful.

My favorite moments in Melendez' Peanuts animation are many, but the ones that stand out the most are (in no particular order:)

-A Charlie Brown Christmas: the dance sequence (especially that kid doing the head-bob and shoulders thing, along with Shermy doing the Running Man and Sally the twins with a simplified version of The Wop), Linus' immortal speech about the meaning of Christmas, Charlie Brown's agony over "killing" the tree he bought, and the gang's redemption and subsequent revival of the tree and themselves. The closing chorus of "Hark The Herald Angels Sing" still brings me to tears.

-A Boy Named Charlie Brown: "I Before E Except After C", Linus' struggle to find his lost blanket, Snoopy's ice skating solo, Linus finding his lost blanket, Charlie Brown's ignominiously tragic defeat in the Spelling Bee after surviving to the last round (notice how the scene lingers in a wide shot on a slumping and humiliated Charlie Brown alone in the spotlight on the darkened stage after blowing his last word), and the closing sequence where Lucy pulls the football from Charlie Brown as he flies in the air and crashes (to the strains of "A Boy Named Charlie Brown" sung by the illustrious Gene Kelly), signifying that life would go on as usual.

-A Charlie Brown Halloween: Linus' lonely vigil as he waits for the Great Pumpkin, only to be disappointed, his vow to "wait 'til next year" (and his fear that he may have forever alienated the Great Pumpkin by letting slip with a phrase that implied doubt), and of course, "I got a rock..."

-Snoopy Come Home: One of the most heartbreaking moments in movie history was the good-bye party for Snoopy, who felt obligated to return to his original owner, who was sick. After all of his friends tearfully spoke in front of a podium and gave him a goodbye gift, Charlie Brown approached the stand, bowed his head, struggling silently to say something... and screamed as Snoopy wailed loudly beside him. After Snoopy left, Charlie Brown sang himself to sleep, looking over his empty doghouse. You'd have thought Snoopy had died the way Charlie Brown was carrying on over him, and perhaps there was more to it behind the scenes than we know. It was an honest way to deal with loss as a child.

-Bon Voyage, Charlie Brown: This was Snoopy's showcase, mind you, but we did have a ball with him going from one place to the next, First Class all the way. Of course, the best parts were when he was flipping off the French drivers as Marcie yelled at them in fluent French. But who can forget, "Loaf de bread, sie vous plais? Mer-ci!"

Race For Your Life, Charlie Brown: Somehow, this is my sentimental favorite. Charlie Brown shows some leadership for a change, yet we realize that for all his triumphs and moments of personal growth, he is constantly undermined by his friends, well meaning and otherwise. At the moment of victory, the girls overzealously celebrate and knock all of the boys overboard before they reach the finish line, allowing the camp bullies, who had been dogging them and cheating throughout the entire race, to pass them. However, their overqualified vessel sinks after having absorbed much of its own abuse. When Woodstock fashions a makeshift sail to continue the race after his and Snoopy's tube is grabbed and punctured by the bullies and their nasty cat, the cat takes aim to strike again, but Snoopy, in one of the greatest moments in Peanuts history, knocks the cat out with one punch, securing Woodstock's victory. (In a later scene, the cat tries to catch Woodstock again, but Snoopy bum-rushes him and applies a well-deserved beatdown...)

-It's Your First Kiss, Charlie Brown: Charlie Brown finally gets the girl of his dreams, and she smooches him at the big dance, setting off a satisfying flight of fancy for ol' boy (too bad he didn't remember how gangsta he was after that...)

And this one, which for some reason has only been seen a couple of times: I think it was a vignette in "A Charlie Brown Celebration"; it was an update on the older Linus & Lucy joke, "Put in the mouth!" in which Linus has programmed a new arcade video game starring Snoopy and Woodstock, frolicking in the meadow searching for Easter eggs. Lucy happens along and watches Linus demonstrate the game, during which Linus nervously suggests that she may want to skip the monster that tries to catch them. Of course Lucy demands to see the monster, and Linus is forced to reveal a giant Lucy roaring and chasing the video-game Snoopy and Woodstock. Outraged, Lucy grabs the joystick and manipulates the giant Lucy monster to swing at the video screen, and "POW!" Linus is seen laid out on the floor, stars floating around his head.

As with Charles Schultz, Melendez informs much of my own artwork. Knowing that he also worked on some of Disney's most memorable animation makes me feel much better about his influence, being that as I do love Peanuts and the feel that was created in their shows, it was not fulfilling in terms of the style I seek in my won work. Bill Melendez was no one-trick pony, to say the least. He will be greatly missed in this part of the world.